The Sighs of Miscommunication
by Armadilloi
Summary: Read by 2/28. It will be deleted.
1. Sighs and Lies

Miscommunication1

_A/N: One shot unless there's an incredible 'popular demand' then I'll expand it. Site was down and I couldn't load the new chapters for Green Eyed Girl or Pandora's Box so I wasted my WiFi on this tripe. So, this is a one-shot unless you want more. Not so angsty as resigned, a lot of 2nd hand Charah._

Armor-Plated-Rat  
7Aug2009

* * *

**Casa Bartowski**

Chuck and Sarah sat on his couch watching the late news. Another cover date with cover cuddling and cover handholding and cover conversation to satisfy the cover and the ubiquitous Major Casey and his listening devices.

The talking head on the news broadcast was talking about the guerilla war in Colombia. A FARC force of guerillas had been ambushed and destroyed by counter-insurgency forces of the government. A detailed description of the ambush and photo coverage of the results flashed on the screen.

"That's Bryce's handiwork. I'd know it anywhere. Short, violent but efficient. Government forces, ha! Bryce Larkin, without doubt."

"Do you miss it, Sarah? Do you miss the excitement of those missions?" Chuck was curious from her comments. She seemed more alive and boisterous than in recent memory.

"Yeah, sometimes, some parts. Yeah, it's what I was trained for and it's what I am good at." _'But I wouldn't trade a second of what I have here with you, Chuck, for all the excitement in Colombia for a year. I am so happy and so, so satisfied with my life. I'm finally home, Chuck, thanks to you,' _thought Sara Walker, snuggling closer to her cover boyfriend.

"Would you go back if you could? Work with Bryce, make the evening news?" he tried for a lightness in his voice he didn't feel. Her tone of voice had carried a degree of longing that unsettled him. '_I know what it is like to_ _settle for less than you are capable of,'_ he thought. The BuyMore vs. a career he'd been trained and prepared for until Fate stirred the pot with that Fickle damned Finger of hers. _'And I know how "settling" is like surrendering. Sarah Walker doesn't surrender, but she does follow orders.'_

"Chuck, I'm where I'm supposed to be, where I have to be. It's not a matter of choice for me." _'I'm supposed to protect the asset, the intersect. That's __**why**__ I'm supposed to be here. But I __**have **__to be here because here's where my love is. He's the curly haired nerd who makes my life so much better than ever before just by being in it. I know he loves me, is in love with me. I just wish I could tell him that I also love him. But I can't. I'd be gone before the words echoed in Beckman's ear courtesy of Casey's bugs. This sucks big-time. But who better to protect him that someone who loves him enough to take a bullet for him?'_

He heard Sarah's sigh of disappointment or perhaps resignation. It tore a little bit at the fragile covering of his heart. He wanted her to be happy, to be fulfilled and living up to her potential and she sure as hell couldn't do it if she was here, babysitting the loser geek friend of Bryce Larkin.

'_I'm going to do it. I'm going to get Sarah back in the big Show where she belongs. I love her and I want her to be as happy as she can possibly be. I want her to have what I can't have: fulfillment. I want her to have the real life she used to have and not some unmoving and unsatisfying existence as a cover girlfriend to someone she wouldn't even notice if it wasn't for her orders. I love her and I'm going to get her what she wants and needs. Her freedom.' _

Sarah glanced at her watch and sighed. "Chuck, I have to go. Remember to get a haircut and I'll see you around 7pm. It's date night. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. We've done the cover movie, the cover walking-in-the-rain, we've done the cover museum tour. The Angels are in town, how about a cover baseball game?"

She giggled. "Yeah, Chuck, that sounds good. I'll get the tickets. Let the CIA pick up the tab and we'll get some good seats, not like last time. I'll call you when I have the tickets and I'll pick you up an hour before the game. Get that haircut, Chuck. The curls have curls." She tousled his hair, kissed his cheek and was gone, all in 30 seconds.

'…_we'll get some good seats, not like last time.'_ The 'last time' was a disaster. Chuck hadn't been to a game since his Dad took him and he'd had no idea how expensive tickets were. Their seats had been…less than stellar. That was another thing that bothered him. He could never afford to take her places he knew she deserved to go. A decent restaurant, not Taco Bell, someplace where she could dress up and get all the attention she deserved. Hell, dinner at some of those places cost more than he made in a week.

He was now more determined than ever to get her back into the life she loved, no matter what the cost. If she was happy then he was happy. It's what you did for people you loved – sacrificed.

He looked at the ceiling of the living room and spoke to where he assumed a microphone would have been planted. "Casey, put clothes on. We have to talk and I'm coming over. Don't give me any shit tonight, Casey, I'm not in the mood for your version of NSA _Laugh-In_. I want to talk to Beckman and I don't give a damn what time it is in D.C. Make it happen, Major."

* * *

Sarah drove her Porsche back to her residence hotel feeling very happy and satisfied with the evening. She loved the time she spent with Chuck doing anything at all. It didn't have to be fancy or exotic or new but it did have to let them be together. She was in love and was loving every minute of it. This was the best possible assignment she could ever have dreamed about. And there was no end in sight. It just got better and better.

'_Someday, Chuck Bartowski, I'll be able to tell and show you how I feel about you. Until then, we'll just have to fake it. But one of these days, Chuck, I'm going to rock your world. To hell with the CIA.'  


* * *

_**Casey's Apartment/Armory/Bonsai Slaughterhouse**

"OK, Bartowski, this had better be good. Beckman's not going to be pleased with a wakeup conference at 3am her time. What's got your panties in a wad?"

"I'm going to ask Beckman to reassign Agent Walker. She's wasting her time here babysitting me, the resident 'spoiled brat' I think is your current handle for me, right?

And she can be more effective and happier back in the field where she belongs.

"Wait a minute, Bartowski. What the hell do you think you're doing asking for a new handler? She's my partner, damn it. If something was wrong you should have discussed it with me and her or at least with me. Do you know what you're doing here? She'll be gone tonight. You won't see her again. Is that what you want, Chuck?"

He was genuinely angry. He had no idea this was coming and he'd bet a year's pay that neither did Sarah Walker. He'd have to listen to the tapes and see if he'd missed something. He knew the kid had it bad for Walker, all you had to do was look at him when she walked in, or smiled at him, or did the cover kiss thing. This made no sense at all.

In a gentler tone he asked, "Chuck, talk to me. What happened tonight? This is so sudden and it's going to hit her like a ton of bricks, Chuck. I know how you feel about her and sending her away is not going to make those feelings go away. You're not accomplishing a damned thing with this."

"I won't have to listen to the sighs of disappointment every time I fuck up, or she sees something on the news and knows it's Larkin who did it, or hears about some exciting mission someone else pulled off. I love her, OK, Major NSA, and it makes me feel like shit, Casey, and my life's got too much shit in it already. Just do it, please? I love her and I want her to be happy, and that's not going to happen in Burbank, California."

* * *

Diane Beckman said exactly the same thing to Chuck that Casey had said when he showed up at his door after his announcement to the listening devices.

"This had better be good, Bartowski."

"I just got the baby back to sleep after her feeding and you woke her up. Speak, Mr. Bartowski." Her image walked into and out of the camera's pickup range as she walked the screaming baby and patted it's back trying to calm it.

"Aw, crap, General, I'm sorry. I had no idea you had a baby at your place. I would never have asked to speak with you at this hour had I known. But, General, this can't wait. I want a new handler, immediately. Tomorrow is like, too late, but I'll wait on your reassignment process. Send Walker back where she'll be most effective. I got enough problems in life without an unhappy handler, OK? Now, I'll let you get back to taking care of… what's her name, anyway?"

Beckman's frowning countenance morphed into a loving grandmother. "Allison Marie, my first grandchild. Three weeks old and already breaking hearts. Yes, grannie wuvs her liddle Ali." She seemed to realize what she'd said. "Mr. Bartowski, it shall be done as you wish. I felt you were becoming too attached to Agent Walker but I was wrong. You're displaying judgment uncharacteristically mature. Why the change of heart?"

"She can do more, be more and help bring down Fulcrum and our other enemies more effectively in the field doing what she loves than wasted babysitting a 'spoiled brat' I believe is your current term. So, thank you, and again, I apologize for waking you and your granddaughter. Night night, Ali, General." He disconnected the link.

"Thanks, Casey. I appreciated that. See you in the morning." He got up and went back to his apartment leaving a confused but determined Casey to figure out what the hell just happened.  


* * *

**Residential Hotel **

"Walker, secure."

"Beckman, secure. Agent Walker, report to Langley in the morning for immediate reassignment to an area much more needful of your abilities and talents than babysitting an asset. You've done excellent work with the intersect, surprisingly good work, Sarah. You're to be commended for bringing about a change in his maturity level."

"Now, there is a plane leaving LAX for Reagan International in a little under two hours. Be on it. That is all, Agent Walker. Your country needs you elsewhere and this is not a request."  


* * *

"Casey, secure. I've been expecting your call, Sarah."

"Casey, what the hell is going on? I've been reassigned? And you knew? Why didn't you tell me, you son of a bitch? I have no time to appeal, no time to do more than pack a bag and catch a damned plane. Why couldn't you have just left us alone for one lousy night, Casey. Just one night."

"Sarah, after you left Chuck yelled into the mike that he wanted a face-to-face with Beckman immediately. He got it. He told Beckman he couldn't handle an unhappy handler and asked her to reassign you to duties you'd be much happier and effective performing."

"Ch-Chu-Chuck asked for my reassignment? My God, Casey, why? Things are going so well with the missions and the cover and…" Casey interrupted her.

"You didn't really listen to yourself tonight when he asked you those questions, did you, Walker? Chuck's a very perceptive guy. Give him his due. I listened to those questions he asked and your responses. He's right. I heard it in your voice. You _are_ wasted here; you _would_ be happier elsewhere."

"He really loves you, Sarah, and he's doing this for you. Don't waste this gift, Walker. Trust me, it's killing him to do this but he told me that your happiness was far more important to him than anything else. So honor his love and his sacrifice for you and go. I'll keep in touch and I'll look out for him. Take care, Sarah Walker. You were the best partner I ever had."

Sarah Walker packed her bags and was on the plane to D.C. trying not to cry and failing miserably. If only she had taken the chance. If only she'd given him some hope. If only...

EndMiscommunication


	2. New Partner Kryptonite Sarah Responds

_OK, I've been 'whelmed' but I don't know if it will last. As usual the evil muse is loose in my noggin and I've got a few twists and turns and knots to tie ya'll up in. Stopped off in Horseshoe Beach for a few days of R&R and discovered that FF was down. Biloxi next then Pass Christian then drydock for the Lin._

_Armor-Plated-Rat_

* * *

**Somewhere over the Rockies  
Delta Flight 2103 to Reagan International**

The stewardess, Maureen, watched the young blonde in First Class as she quietly wept into what looked to be a man's t-shirt that she'd pulled from her carry-on. She'd seen the look on her face when she'd boarded. She looked devastated. Someone she loved must have died or worse, dumped her. She knew the signs from her own personal experiences. Her fiancé dead in Afghanistan and her last rebound boyfriend, well, the less said the better.

"Excuse me, Miss Walker, but, well, sometimes it helps to talk about these things to an absolute stranger. I'll be about the cabins if you feel the need to unload. I'm sure you value your privacy but some times just letting loose helps. Believe me, I know from painful past experiences."

Sarah looked up through her tears. She nodded her head but didn't trust herself to make a comment. She just knew that right now she needed to be left alone.

Maurine patted her on the shoulder and said quietly, "I'm here if you want to talk. Sometimes a sympathetic and experienced ear can make a difference." She walked down the aisle to the economy section to check on her latest load of cattle.

'_Pull yourself together, Agent. Do something constructive. You've been crushed by men before. You should be used to it by now. OK, so this one was different. This one crushed you for your own good because he loves you. Well, tell him you love him back. Put a little crush on him. Fair is fair. He hurt you, now you hurt him back._'

'_Oh, for heaven's sake, Sarah, don't listen to that bitter cow. She still has the hots for Bryce Larkin. You have Chuck, the man who cares so much for you and your happiness that he destroyed his own so that you could be happy. You don't crush a man like that. You bust your ass to get back to him. So, make it happen. He doesn't know you love him the way he loves you. He doesn't know the happiness you felt with him. He's not a frikkin' mind reader, Sarah, he's only a man. Tell him. Call him. Write him. But let him know. And don't lay the guilt trip on him. His sacrifice does not deserve guilt. He'll feel bad enough once he knows, even if his not knowing is your damned fault!'_

'_You're a hotshot secret agent so why didn't you find a way around Casey's bugs? What? You never thought of telling him at the beach? At the ball game when you sunburned your pretty skin in the bleachers because it was all he could afford? No wonder we're losing the intelligence war! You people can't think outside the box worth a damn!'_

Sarah stood and went back to her luggage stowed in the compartment between first class and economy. She removed a note pad from it and closed and replaced it. She'd write him a letter and explain everything but most importantly she'd tell him how she felt, without reservation. For the first time since Beckman's call she felt like she was doing something positive.

Dear Chuck – '_no, no, no, that sounds like the beginning of a letter from Aunt Sally not the love of his life. Try again, dimbulb. Put some heart into it this time.' _

She scratched out what she'd written and thought about how to address him if they were on the beach sitting beside each other, finally alone, and naked, and… whoa, back to the letter. Nakedness is for private times.

Baby – '_he's going to cringe and wonder if you're going to treat him like a kid again. Nope. Nice try, but no.' _

She sighed and scratched out 'baby'.

My love – '_nice, but he has no idea how you feel, that's too premature. Something less striking but keep that in mind for later. It's warm and shows feelings.' _

She scratched that out too. Another sigh.

I love you, Chuck Bartowski, with all my heart. '_YES! That's the way to get his attention! You go, girl. Now, don't lay any guilt on him. That sentence is going to rock his world and so you have to ease into what you want to do about it.'_

I'm so sorry I never told you how I felt but I was afraid, baby. I was afraid of the consequences. I was so happy being with you. You had no idea because I was afraid to tell you. You told me all the time, Chuck, all the time. You told me with your actions and you told me with your eyes. Those cover-kisses and cover-hugs were the high points of my day. I can't tell you how sorry I am for not somehow letting you know.

'_OK, now you have to let him know exactly how you feel. He has to know how deeply you feel if he's going to go along with your plan. You __**do**__ have a plan, right?'_

'_Right?'_

'_Hey, you do have a plan, don't you?'_

'No. I don't know what I'm going to do.'

'_We are so screwed_.'

She continued writing to her who? Lover? Nope, not even close. He never even tried to cop a feel. '_Of course not, he's not that kind of guy_.'

Boyfriend? No. '_He's not a boy and he's so much more than a friend_.'

The man she wanted to marry. _**SILENCE**_**.**

Chuck, I don't know where I'll end up or who I'll be partnered with but please know that I love you and will be faithful to you. I consider myself yours and so totally off the market it's funny. I'll figure out a way to get this letter to you since they read your BuyMore and home mail.

I love you more than I can say in a letter and I'll show you how much the next time I see you. Please, please, wait for me. Please be careful and don't take chances. I won't be there to cover your ass, my love, and I don't want it damaged.

All my love,

Sarah

* * *

**Castle Facility  
Burbank, CA**

True to her word, Diane Beckman had a replacement for Sarah Walker in Burbank within three days. She reported in to Casey at the Castle and reviewed all the information available on her mark. She was not a believer in allowing those she handled too much personal choice. She would establish a schedule and expect it to be kept or there would be hell to pay.

Casey was not at all sure if Chuck was ready for Judith Lodge. She was probably the least likely person to ever establish a 'relationship' with someone like Chuck Bartowski and that was probably because people like Chuck automatically despised people like Judith Lodge. People like John Casey automatically despised people like Judith Lodge.

She was main line Philadelphia, a Sarah Lawrence graduate who had been born with the proverbial silver spoon in her mouth. Hell, it was probably platinum. She dressed immaculately with perfect hair, makeup, nails and clothing. And she was beautiful in a coldly Grace Kelly style.

Casey figured this was either her first real assignment or she'd screwed up the last one so badly that this was her last chance. She obviously was someone's legacy and that someone had clout. Casey just could not figure out how she could have made the cut. The CIA must be getting rejects from the FBI or the Salvation Army. She was a flake, beautiful, but still a flake.

"Now, Major Casey, what is so special about this Charles Bartowski that he can get an experienced agent the likes of Walker cashiered and reassigned? Who's his sugar momma?"

"Sarah Walker was not 'cashiered'. She was reassigned. If you're fortunate, you might rate the same consideration from the asset some day. He wanted her to be happy and she wasn't and it was important to him so he had her sent where she would be happy. End of story." Casey had no intentions of getting into details. Let her worm it out of Chuck. It was not important anyway. Not really.

"And I wouldn't use the term 'sugar momma' around a certain Director of the NSA who runs this operation. You might find yourself in some garden spot like Yemen or Botswana counting sheep and confirming agricultural production figures for the embassy."

Casey couldn't be sure but he thought he saw the minutest trace of smugness cross his new partner's face.

"So when do I get to meet this mystery man who wraps agents around his finger and 'cares' about them. Really, Major, agents shouldn't fraternize with their marks. Not outside of mission requirements. I assure you I won't. I take it Walker used the cover girlfriend to accomplish her own ends?"

"Listen up, little girl. Sarah Walker was the premiere agent in the Agency with a 10-year record of successful missions. She was selected for this mission because the asset is that important. He is not your mark. He is your asset. We, you and I, are partners. We assist him in utilizing his special skills. We protect him at all costs. That's your brief."

"You are not cleared to know about the special skills so I suggest you shut your face about things you don't know. When you need to know, you'll be told. Until that time, get to know him. And don't piss him off. Things haven't been all that wonderful in his world since, well, since Walker left. They had a tight cover."

The subject of their heated discussion was, at that moment, sitting in his Nerd Herder having the second, and third and fourth thoughts about his rash decision to make Sarah Walker 'happy' already that morning.

'_Quit being so damned selfish. You did the right thing. Face it, Nerd King, you miss her and you're feeling sorry for yourself. Get over it. You did the right thing. Her happiness came first. You made her happy. Now, you should be happy. Right?'_

He locked up the Herder and walked slowly towards the Orange Orange_. 'I wonder if they're going to keep it open now that Sarah's gone?'_

Accessing the rear door and keying in his code, he knew Casey was already there when the door opened without the required retinal scan. _'Oh, the day just keeps getting better and better.' _ Casey had been somewhat cold and distant, and for Chuck to have noticed in his current emotional state, it was a lot colder and a lot more distant.

Chuck had two hours until he had to be at work and he figured he'd knock out the over-nights and the dailies that had accumulated since yesterday when he'd lost interest and gone home without finishing. Casey was probably waiting to lay into him for leaving some obscure piece of arcane information out of the safe 'in direct contradiction of standing Castle procedures.' Well, at least Casey would have made coffee.

'_Casey must be in the armory, probably polishing 9mm cartridge casings to the prescribed level of brightness required by the NSA. At least I'll get to drink coffee and read the dailies without his frikkin' snarky comments.'_

He got his coffee and opened the safe to retrieve the past days' work and then went to his workstation and accessed the current files. Mercifully there were only a few.

He quickly scanned the various station chiefs' summarized briefs and found nothing there that triggered a flash. _'Oh, happy days, nothing to report. Beckman's going to have a cow over this. But hell, I can't flash on what doesn't trigger a flash. She'll just have to suck it up.'_

He read through the HQ summaries and found something that did pique his interest. Sarah had been reassigned to a special unit specializing in weapons smuggling. That ought to keep her busy and happy although not safe. He sighed. _'I wanted her happy, I guess __**safe**__ isn't part of her definition of happy.'_

He drank some of his coffee and made a face. Cold. Time flies when you're having fun. He'd been at it for 45 minutes and been so engrossed he hadn't noted the passage of time.

He walked back into the kitchenette unit to get a refill before starting the current overnights and was startled, almost running over a tiny person standing at the machine, deep in thought.

"Excuse me, but who are you and what are you doing here?" He called for Casey.

Brown eyes met his. Her cold brown eyes met even colder and darker brown eyes. He judged and she judged. The juries were still deliberating when she responded.

"I'm Agent Judith Lodge and you must be Charles. I'm Major Casey's new partner. I'm surprised you didn't know I was arriving. Major Casey has already briefed me in. So you're a _special asset_, right? One who has talents I'm not yet cleared for. And what makes you so special, Charles?"

She was baiting him to see his reaction. Most tall men found dealing with a 5' 2" woman in a superior position organization-wise disconcerting and unsettling.

"It's not my place to comment, Agent Lodge, if your clearances did not allow that information. Welcome to Burbank. What's your cover assignment? And where the hell is Casey?"

"So at least you have some self-control. From what I'd read that seemed to be dreadfully lacking. As for my 'cover', Charles, I'm your new girlfriend. And I believe Major Casey is out getting more coffee. Who ever was tasked to keep this place stocked was negligent in their duties." More bait.

"G-g-g-" He couldn't say it. He wouldn't say it. This Beckman-wannabee was his new cover girlfriend? Oh, no way. No frikkin' way. He found his tongue, finally.

"The agent you are replacing had the rotating duty this week. I suppose Casey assumed it was already done but her departure was rather abrupt and unsettling for him."

He heard Casey out in the work area mumbling and cursing life in general and California specifically. He hated California with a purple passion. Especially the drivers. He also knew that Casey would have his ear glued to the virtual 'door' shamelessly eavesdropping.

He set his coffee cup and keys down on the small table and faced her, Sarah's 'replacement'.

"So tell me, Agent Lodge, do your jaws ache after a long day of speaking without unclenching them?" He hated effete Ivy League snobs with a passion almost as intense as Casey's of California.

"I'll bet you learned to speak without moving your face at some high-priced Ivy League school where the tuition would feed hundreds of homeless breakfast for a century." If she was going to throw out bait, he wouldn't disappoint her.

"And isn't it painful looking up so high in order to look down your nose at someone taller? Should I sit down and make it easier for you, Agent Lodge? Girlfriend? I don't think so. Nope, not going to happen. No one would believe it, no one would buy it and, _ergo sum_, not going to happen. Have a nice California day. And don't unpack, Agent Lodge. You won't be staying."

He turned on his heel and stomped across the work area to the stairs. He reversed his course, stacked up his work and replaced it in the safe.

Casey almost laughed out loud. Leave it to Bartowski to say what everyone else would be thinking. 'And don't unpack, Agent Lodge' was the swing and 'You won't be staying' knocked it out of the park. Home run!

He hadn't been looking forward to a partnership with Agent Lodge. Too abrasive and too snooty. He'd have to back Chuck up with Beckman on this personnel change. She just didn't fill the bill. And he didn't need a comparison to Sarah Walker. This was one piss-poor agent.

Chuck got to the top of the stairs and realized he'd left his keys next to the empty coffee cup on the table in the kitchenette. Shit!

He walked into the kitchenette and found Agent Lodge with her head buried in her arms, sobbing. Oh, crap. _The ultimate weapon. Oh, shit, oh, dear. He could feel his resolve weakening with each sob and snuffle. Kryptonite! Tears!_ He was toast. He toyed with the idea of just grabbing his keys and leaving but he wouldn't be the Chuck Bartowski he wanted to be if he did.

He pulled out the chair across from her and sat down. "Hey, Lodge, talk to me. Don't do this. This won't solve anything. OK, so we got off on the wrong foot. You pissed me off and that baiting crap hit the wrong button this morning." He reached across and put his hand on her forearm. "Hey, talk to me, Lodge."

'_Run, Chuck! It's a trap and you know it. Sarah never cried, at least not until you sent her away and even then, you weren't sure. But this…this is clearly a woman working her wiles on you. Let Casey handle it. Get out while you still have a…'_

She raised her head from her arms and looked over at him. One false eyelash was hanging from the corner of her right eye and the eyes were all puffy and red from crying and she had a dribble of disgusting gooey stuff running out of her nose. Desperate and defeated brown eyes met caring and defenseless deep brown eyes. It was too late. He was toast.

At that moment John Casey stuck his head around the door and snarked "When you're done abusing your new girlfriend, Charles, General Beckman would appreciate a moment of your incredibly valuable time."

Lodge's face turned ghostly white. Chuck noted that and said, "hey, don't worry. I'll tell her you went out to buy coffee. Just stay here and be quiet, OK?"

Chuck went into the work area and sat down. In seconds General Beckman's face appeared and it was obvious she was still at home since she had her granddaughter on her shoulder trying to burp her.

"Good morning, where is Agent Lodge? She should be there by now. Major Casey, has she reported in?"

"Yes, ma'am, she's reported in and she's…" Casey began.

"I sent her out to restock our coffee. It's her turn in the rotation and it would be disruptive to change it. I'm sorry, I wasn't anticipating your conference. She should be back momentarily. The market's just across the plaza if you'd like to reconnect when she returns."

"No, that won't be necessary. Mr. Bartowski you are hereby informed that you are now a government employee with a pay grade of GS9, and carry an assimilated military rank of Captain."

"That means you'll be able to afford to move up in the world, get an apartment of your own to maintain your cover and have a decent social life. Your first check is retroactive to the first of the year so you have a tidy sum for deposits and relocation expense. And yes, Mr. Bartowski, you can leave the BuyMore at long last." The last sentence was said with a smile.

He was shocked. Pleased, but shocked. A paycheck? His own apartment? Leave the BuyMore? He fought the urge to run outside and see if the heavens had split and revealed the Second Coming. At the very least it was a miracle.

"The check has already been deposited into your account. Unless you have any questions, Mr. Bartowski, that will be all."

"Thank you, General, this is a welcome surprise. But what will I do for a 'job'? I can't just collect checks, it would be very suspicious and dangerous unless I missing something?"

"Excellent observation, Mr. Bartowski. You'll spend your time there in the Castle doing analytical reviews using the.."

"I understand, General. Thank you, ma'am." He flicked off the conference.

"Chuck, you just hung up on the General." Casey snarked the obvious.

"Yeah, the General who was about to mention the you-know-what around someone who wasn't supposed to hear about it." Chuck could have lashed back but just spoke in a normal speaking voice. Casey looked chagrined.

"Yeah, good move. You were right but why protect that CIA drone?"

Chuck sighed. Casey was immediately on alert.

"What? Oh, no, please, no. Tell me you didn't fall for tears? Haven't you learned anything in your 27 years? Women use them, Chuck. They rarely mean them. You're toast. We're toast. That's why you covered her ass, wasn't it. She pulled the tears on you."

"Casey, they were real. She's too stuck-up to let snot run out her nose and have a false eyelash come loose. No, they were real. She's just a kid, Casey, cut her some slack. Let's see where this goes. You talk to her. Find out where she's going to work and other cover elements. And where she's going to live. Probably the residence hotel like W-Walker did, right?"

"Chuck, Chuck, Chuck. You're never going to survive. OK, I'll talk to her. It's almost time for your last day at the BuyMore to begin. Lucky bastard."

"Nope, going to give notice, Casey. It's the right thing to do. Big Mike's been fair and easy on me. I owe him that."

'_That's more than he deserves but then you wouldn't be Chuck Bartowski if you did any less. Tears. I can't believe he fell for them again! Give Walker her due, she never pulled the tears crap.'  


* * *

_**Istanbul, Turkey**

On the other side of the world Sarah Walker was wrapping up the first day of her new assignment. She'd also started a letter to Chuck that she was going to mail using the method she'd worked out with the Delta stewardess, Maureen. Maureen would mail the letters to Ellie Woodcomb and she would either forward them or give them to Chuck. Hopefully, he'd get them. She would received any return letters at a drop box location in N.Y. and they'd be forwarded to whatever location she specified. She wondered if he'd gotten the first letter she'd written, the one on the plane?

_Chuck:_

_I'm in Istanbul, Turkey, working with some UN representatives trying to curtail weapons smuggling through the Turkish port here. It's interesting work and I'm learning a lot. _

_Have you got a new handler yet? I suppose it's selfish of me to hope she's overweight, hairy and has tattoos all over her arms like that girl we saw in Venice. I wouldn't want you to have to spend time with someone you were repulsed by. And I remember that you were definitely disgusted with her tattoos and piercings._

_I miss you, sweetie. I miss the cuddling even if it was cover for you. For me it was real. And I miss our talks and your curly hair. Did you ever get that haircut? Honestly, baby, your curls were getting curls. Cute on a 5 year old but not so much on a 27 year old._

_I wish you were here to see the room I have at the Metropol. Incredible. And the bed is huge. And lonely. I stole one of your t-shirts and I sleep in it. It's almost like being in your arms. I miss you and I hope you're listening to Casey and staying in the van on missions. _

_I'm working on getting back to you, Chuck. Don't give up on me, please? I love you with all my heart._

_Your Sarah  


* * *

_**BuyMore  
Burbank, CA**

"You can't quit, Bartowski! Who's going to do the schedule? Who's going to run the cage? Who's going to keep the animals in line? You can not quit. I'll give you a raise. A whole dollar an hour more. What say, Chuck? A dollar an hour?"

"Sorry, Big Mike. Two weeks from today and I'm gone. I've already trained Anna to run the cages and do the schedule. You know, you made a fine decision setting her up as the 'second in command' of the Nerd Herd. It won't be hard to transition her into the supervisor's position and you'll get some Affirmative Action points with Corporate. Like I said, a good decision on your part."

"Well, OK. I agree on Wu. It was a good decision and Corporate will love an Asian-American _woman_ in an authority position."

'_Yeah, and if I hadn't started training her a year ago you'd be up the creek with no paddle, BM. You are such a tool.'_

"Make the announcement to the whole store, Big Mike, now. That will make things easier when the Big Man himself gives Anna his endorsement."

"Another fine idea. Let's do it, right now." He waddled from behind his desk and looked up at Chuck. "You know, you have accrued vacation of 6 weeks and Corporate will only let you cash in 4 weeks. You need to take your vacation or lose 2 weeks pay, Chuck. Think Anna can handle the job effective today?"

"Absolutely. I'll be gone in 10 minutes. Thanks, Big Mike. I'll be in town so have her call me if she gets in a bind."

"So long, Chuck. Don't be a stranger. Buy something occasionally." He smiled and slapped Chuck on the back. Totally out-of-character but Chuck wasn't complaining. He was free!

Casey couldn't believe that Big Mike had let Chuck just leave. He didn't know that Chuck had been training Anna Wu to take his place should he have an _unfortunate _experience as the intersect, meaning, he died. Moving on was not difficult if you'd planned your exit strategy properly. And he had. He had to go back to the Castle to pick up some things and then he was going to take his time and check out his bank balance.  


* * *

**Castle Facility**

Judith Lodge was still where she'd been when Chuck left. She was rehashing her actions and his responses. She'd been such an ass about things. First she pissed off Major Casey and then she'd upset the asset who was the reason she was here. She was forced to face reality. She was not her sister. Her sister would have reported in, made nice with Major Casey and then gotten to know her asset and made preliminary plans to get to know each other better. She sighed.

"Hey, Agent Lodge, you're still here? Anything wrong?" Chuck hadn't realized she was still there and had gone in to get another cup of coffee before pulling out the unfinished analyses he'd blown off rather dramatically this morning.

He'd heard her sigh. He knew about sighs. He'd learned to interpret another woman's sighs and he thought he understood the one he'd just heard. It was the sigh of disappointment in oneself. God knows he'd made the same sound himself a hundred times since getting the intersect stuffed up his nose.

The puffiness had pretty much disappeared from her face but she looked unbalanced with one false and one real eyelash.

Chuck poured himself a cup of coffee and one for Agent Lodge and set hers down in front of her. "I don't know how you take it. I suppose I should learn that stuff if we're going to be keeping each other company."

* * *

**Casa Bartowski  
1 Week Later**

Ellie Bartowski Woodcomb was waiting for her brother to get back from his new job. She was so pleased when Chuck announced he was leaving the BuyMore for a job doing, as he put it, "computer software engineering and stuff" for a government agency. He said that was all he could really tell her since he'd signed away his first-born if he breathed even a word about it.

"Ellie, I need to talk to you, at the beach, right now. Put on your sunscreen and let's go. Now, Ellie, right now."

Ellie sighed and then said a heartfelt prayer for Sarah Walker, remembering her brother's torrent of words that afternoon on the beach.

Chuck had explained that their relationship had reached a point where she had to move on with her life and it couldn't include him. He stressed "couldn't" and from that moment on Ellie's world took a turn to the left and then turned upside down.

Her little brother was in love with a spy and because of the 'JOB', it was necessary for them to separate. And now _he_ was working with spies. And she couldn't even tell her husband. It would be too dangerous for everyone concerned but especially for Chuck and Sarah.

She had a letter for him that she'd received at the hospital. It came from a Delta stewardess who'd prefaced _her_ letter with "You don't know me but we have a mutual friend who is in need of our help. Please forward the enclosed letter to your brother, Chuck. I will be sending you more from time-to-time and I hope and pray you'll keep forwarding them to your brother. This is the only way they can safely communicate."

She knew the letter was from Sarah Walker. For one brief moment she considered tearing it up and flushing the pieces down the toilet but she couldn't. She couldn't do that to her brother. Or Sarah Walker either. Her brother was in love and it was _the_ love of his life and she wouldn't stand in their way for all the money in the world.

* * *

**Castle Firing Range**

"Damn it!" At 25 feet he'd managed to miss the paper target all 8 times. He ejected the magazine from his pistol and inserted another and charged the weapon. He needed to be able to defend himself. He couldn't count on his handlers for 24/7 coverage and the missions they were drawing were getting hairier and hairier. But most of all he didn't want to be responsible for one of them 'taking the bullet' for him because he was such a helpless shit.

He sighed and wondered if he was doing something wrong.

"It's your stance, Chuck. You're standing wrong and it's throwing off your aim. Here, let me show you."

He jumped a foot and whirled, keeping the pistol pointed at the ceiling. "Well, at least you know not to point a loaded weapon at your partner." Judith Lodge laughed. Here was something she _could_ do. She was a deadly shot with a handgun. It ran in the family.

"Turn around, Deadeye, and put your feet shoulder width apart." She coached him into the correct position and then had him practice it until it was automatic. He'd need a lot of practice just to automatically 'assume the proper firing stance'. She knew this from hard lessons learned in her youth.

Next she showed him how to properly hold the weapon, the position of his arms and the proper balance. It was difficult because he was so damned tall and she couldn't reach around him and correct the positioning of his arms when her face was practically smashed against his back. She took a deep breath and froze. He smelled so damned good. And then she sighed.

Chuck knew that sigh. He'd heard it before. The sigh that meant, "this will never work."

"Maybe if you held the pistol and I stood behind you it might work." He was anxious to learn this skill and needed her expert help. He couldn't ask Casey. He was not up for the ridicule and complaints and judgment he'd have to endure to get any help.

"Yeah. Let's try that. At least I'll be able to see the damned target." They both laughed at that. The 12-inch difference in their height and his long arms made it almost necessary.

"Now, Chuck, put your feet directly behind mine, touching your shoe tip to my heel and then put your arms along side mine. Wait a minute. Maybe if I stand on a box…"

Chuck couldn't help it. He laughed. And laughed. Judith was less than pleased.

"Hey, I'm short but at least I can hit what I aim at, _Charles_. You better hope the bad guys are afraid of the noise because the safest place to be when you're shooting is right in front of the damned target."

"Sorry, sorry, it's just that the image of you standing on a box is…" and he started laughing again.

She sighed, exasperated and he instantly stopped laughing and looked down at her.

"Hey, I am sorry, really. I shouldn't have laughed. You're trying to help and I'm not giving you much help, am I?"

"Nope. If you want to help, find me a box that makes me at least 10 inches taller or this is not going to work."

Two hours later he was hitting the target 4 or 5 times at 50 feet and he was amazed. His handler/partner/cover girlfriend just looked smug. Insufferably smug. Chuck figured he could live with the smugness as long as he got results like this.  


* * *

"So, Chuck, don't you think I should meet your sister and her husband? I mean, for the cover? I'm not pushing or anything but my brief instructs me to be with you 24/7 and that means boyfriend/girlfriend shack job. You'll need a 2-bedroom apartment and the CIA will pay for it so it's not _that _bad, is it?"

Judith had no intention of letting her cover progress beyond a cover and that meant no time between the covers, ever. She knew from family history that such things never worked out and that one or both of the participants ended up heartbroken or worse – dead. Two bedrooms was a job requirement in her mind. Preferably two bathrooms also.

"Well, as a matter of fact, I'm heading over there right now and I think it's a good time for you to meet my sister, the doctor. I say doctor so you'll be warned in advance that any, and I mean any, ailment, cough, bruise, contusion, hangnail, redness of the eyes, scratchy throat, upset stomach, I'll quit now, will mean an intense scrutiny. And her husband's a doctor also but Cap'n Awesome's not nearly as 'doctorish'. But Ellie? She prides herself on her prying skills so be forewarned. I love my sister but she a worrier and a nag. Prepare yourself for the Grand Inquisition. She'll like you, really, she will."

"Chuck, don't be nervous. I noticed you ramble when you're nervous. Hell, if anyone should be nervous it's me coming in on the tails of the great Sarah Walker. She's bound to do the 'g/f comparison routine'. My sister did it with my boyfriends all the time and it sucked then and I'm sure nothing's changed much, has it?"

What he didn't tell Judith was that he'd already explained Judith's 'appearance' in his life to Ellie. She was relieved that he would have a bodyguard but also concerned that he _needed_ one.

Driving over to the apartment Chuck and Judith discussed looking for an apartment and then, if she didn't mind, looking for a suitable car for Chuck. Since leaving the BuyMore he'd lost use of the Nerd Herder vehicle pool and he'd been catching rides with Casey in to the Castle and back with Judith and he wanted some degree of freedom.

"Well, why don't we look and see what's available at the government impound lot. I don't see why you can't have a 'pool car' like Casey and I do. Seems logical. Maybe you should discuss that with Casey and see what he thinks. You two need to be more relaxed with one another and asking him for advice is one way to whittle down his shields."

* * *

**Casa Bartowski**

"Ellie, this is Judith Lodge." Chuck introduced his partner/cover girlfriend to his sister very formally. He did have manners, no matter what anyone else thought.

"Hi, Chuck's told me absolutely nothing about you. Come in. Let me beat up my little brother in private for a few minutes and then we can sit down and get to know one another. He's such an ass about some things." She shot Chuck a dirty look and what she hoped was a sympathetic one to Judith Lodge. Unwittingly Ellie began comparing her to Sarah Walker and so far the new cover girlfriend was not measuring up to previous standards.

'_Eleanor Faye Bartowski Woodcomb stop that this instant!' _She could hear her mother lecturing her. At least it was her mother's voice. She couldn't remember when or if her mother ever cared enough about what her kids did to lecture.

"We'll just be a second. It won't take me long and I promise not to leave visible bruises." She grinned and dragged Chuck back down the hallway to her bedroom.

"Chuck, don't act strangely but I received a letter today from a Delta stewardess asking me to give you what was enclosed. Here, Chuck, a letter from Sarah Walker! Don't read it here, please. I don't know what's in it just that it's important that you follow her instructions. And you can't let your new cover girlfriend know about it and I'm afraid of how you'll react so put it away until you have some private time, OK?"

He hugged his sister. "Thanks, Ellie, for thinking ahead. Yeah, I'll read it later. It's probably just an update on her new assignment and such. But thanks. Yeah, let's keep this between us."

"I like her, Chuck. She's opinionated and pushy and cares about you. Just what you should expect from an older sister. Do you think I passed muster?" She was curious about what he thought. And he'd been thinking quite a bit since leaving Ellie's place and going out to find dinner for the two of them.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, she's a nag but we're all we have left of the family. I'm sure there are other 'Bartowskis' out there but none showed up when we needed help so they're really not wanted now. And sure, I think you made the grade. She talked to me in private _before _you talked, not after. And we did get that dinner invitation for Friday night. Wait until you meet Awesome."

He hoped he sounded convincing because he didn't have any idea how Ellie felt since his mind was on the letter in his pocket, not on anything immediate or important just on the letter and what it might contain. His mind conjured up all kinds of opening sentences:

_Dear Ball-less wonder, I can't believe you had me transferred! After all I did for you, this is my reward? I should have let Lou have you. Then she'd be miserable instead of me!_

Or:

_Thank you, Chuck, for realizing that I was bored, hated every minute of our time together, and wanted to go back to Bryce or anyone else but you. You are so damned boring and I hated the dumb cover dates in those cheap places with disgusting food._

Or:

_Dear Asshole! Thanks to you I'm now in Bumfux, Egypt counting camels. Still, it's better than spending another boring cover date as your cover girlfriend. Anything's better than that. You were the most boring asset I ever had to deal with. Thank God I didn't have to go the distance with you. _

End Miscommunications2


	3. Staying in the Van Equals Toasted Chuck

Sighsofmiscomm3

_A/N: leaving and won't update for a bit but had this finished and forgot to send it with Chpt 2. No cliffies and no nekkidness … yet._

_Armor-Plated-Rat_

* * *

**Casa Bartowski**

After a nice dinner and good conversation, Judith Lodge dropped her asset off at his apartment and headed to the residence hotel. She called Casey and informed him that the asset 'was all his for the night'.

Chuck went into his room and sat on the bed and opened the letter from Sarah. He didn't unfold it right away because he was afraid that one of his 'sample letters' might be waiting for him.

Taking a deep breath he unfolded the letter and began to read.

_I love you, Chuck Bartowski, with all my heart. _That was as far as he got in her letter when he suddenly couldn't see very well. She loved him, with all her heart, and he'd sent her away.

Casey wasn't sure but he thought he heard the muffled sounds of sobbing on his bugs but he wrote it off as background noise from Ellie's television program. Chuck was in the shower and it must have been the TV.

* * *

**Istanbul, Turkey**

After a dinner in a quiet restaurant in Istanbul, Sarah and her UN colleagues walked back to the Hotel Metropol for a night cap and bed. It had been a frustrating day. The local harbor police had intercepted a huge cache of arms being smuggled through the Straits but the smugglers escaped into the teeming harbor traffic after a brief firefight.

The Italian representative thought they might have been Albanian or Chechen rebels but the majority of the Europeans believed they were bound for Lebanon because of some documents found on board. The crew of Filipinos was being held pending further investigation but for Sarah the frustration was the total lack of cooperative intelligence. They were supposed to be sharing information but the only thing shared were opinions.

She needed the intersect and it's data capabilities. Actually, she needed Chuck but any excuse would do. The only concern she had was for his safety. She could go without seeing him so long as she knew he was safe and sound sitting in Burbank with a team guarding him. She slept better knowing he was well taken care of.  


* * *

**Venice, CA  
Warehouse District**

"Damn it, Chuck, I told you to stay in the damned van. Why won't you ever listen?"

"Because, sweetie, they blew up the frikkin' van and if I hadn't seen the damned RPG team setting up I'd be toasted Chuck right now." He ducked another fusillade of bullets and checked out his partners. Casey was grinning like an idiot and was up front firing slowly as targets became available but Chuck couldn't see any bodies. He ducked again as another burst of automatic weapons fire struck the crate he was hiding behind.

Judith Lodge was trying to keep one eye out for enemy targets and one eye on her asset. When she heard the whoosh of the RPG followed by the explosion she had almost run from the fire fight to check on Chuck but then she saw him slither in through the partially open warehouse/chopshop door and she went back to killing bad guys. So far she had 3 down.

Both Casey and Lodge were handicapped because the weapons dealer and his thugs had barricaded themselves behind wooden boxes and crates containing Stinger missiles and their component parts. Hitting a Stinger warhead was not a recommended solution to their current problem.

The buyers were a group of home-grown terrorists who had an agenda that started with shooting down passenger jets from LAX as they passed over poorer sections of LA county laying the blame at the feet of Latino separatist groups living in barrios lining the flight paths. They had taken cover behind their SUVs effectively catching the agents in a crude crossfire.

Chuck noticed an oxyacetylene cutting rig and maneuvered himself behind a stack of fenders and pulled the rig towards him by the torch hose. He lowered the rig down onto the cement floor and unlatched the oxygen tank from the carrier and lifted the tank so that it sat on the base of the rig like a torpedo pointing at the SUVs.

"Hey, Judith, you and Casey might want to take cover. This should work but you never know about these things." Casey looked at Judith who looked at Chuck who had pulled a Glock from out of his jacket pocket. 'Oh, shit, he's not going to…' thought Casey just as

Chuck shot the valve stem off the neck of the tank.

The tank took off like the rocket it became and impaled itself in the side of the nearest SUV rupturing its fuel tank. Chuck stood and fired at the growing pool of gasoline and it caught fire with a loud whooshing sound and the terrorists ran from the flames. Casey and Judith picked them off, one by one.

Chuck started maneuvering the rig so it was pointing at the cases of Stinger assemblies when he noticed the RPG team coming through the door preparing to fire at his partners' exposed position. He fired off the remaining rounds in his weapon hitting the RPG man and sending the other one scuttling back through the door.

'_Hmmm, an RPG beats an acetylene tank all to hell,'_ he thought and ran towards the door and the wounded thug. He was trying to eject the magazine from the Glock and load another when he had a terrible thought_: I don't know how to shoot a damned RPG!_

He picked up the launcher and studied it, heedless of the occasional bullet that struck the corrugated tin of the warehouse wall and door. It didn't seem that complicated. Point, aim and pull the trigger. He hefted it up on his shoulder and aimed at the wall immediately behind the dealer and his remaining gang. It was lined with car doors and window assemblies. Good. Shrapnel.

Judith saw what he was going to do and screamed at him. "Chuck, back-blast, back-blast!" but he was so focused that he couldn't hear her. He pulled the trigger on the shoulder-fired launcher and was shocked by the amount of searing heat that enveloped him. He was on fire! He dropped the launcher and rolled on the ground, putting out his flaming clothes and then he knew no more.  


* * *

**Istanbul, Turkey**

Sarah Walker was starting her latest letter to Chuck when she got the call from Ellie.

"Sarah, Ellie. Chuck's in the hospital. He was burned on a mission. I'm on my way in to the hospital so I'll call you when I know more. Don't say anything, Sarah. I know all about things. Chuck broke protocol but it was the only way to explain the letters and his new partner. I'll call when I know more, I promise. Oh, Sarah, now I understand why it was so complicated and I'm so sorry for not being more supportive of you guys. I have to go."

Sarah knew Ellie was a doctor. She knew she had nerves of steel and for her to have fallen apart like that…

Sarah picked up her pad and began to write.

_My darling Chuck, why, oh why won't you learn to stay in the damned van where you're safe? Ellie just called and I'm terrified of her next call. All she said was that you'd been burned on a mission and were in the hospital and she had to go. I won't even broach the breach of security in telling her about us but I love you for it. It makes it seem more real that Ellie knows and approves._

_I'm in Turkey and you're in pain and I can't stand not being there. I don't care if you have scars as long as you're alive. I want a live husband not a dead hero. Please stop throwing yourself in front of the proverbial train. I don't know what happened but I'll bet you did something to help or save your partners._

_I have to take a break now. I can't see the page for the tears. There, satisfied? Real tears and I'm not there to watch you cringe. God, how I miss you and want to be with you, especially now. Your t-shirt is a poor substitute._

_Your Sarah_  


* * *

**Castle Facility  
Burbank, CA**

Judith Lodge and John Casey were looking at General Beckman's image pale. "He's burned? How badly? My God, how did this happen? You need to tie him to the seat in the van, Major Casey. Or maybe we need another team to watch over Bartowski since you people seem so damned inadequate for the task." Her volume was nearly a shout. Casey couldn't remember the last time he'd seen the General so upset.

"Ma'am, he was in the van and it was attacked. He barely escaped an RPG rocket that destroyed the van while Agent Lodge and I were in the chop shop shooting it out with the arms dealer and his customers. It was all done according to protocol, Ma'am, and there is no fault with anyone. He'd be dead if he stayed in the van. We didn't have enough assets to cover every contingency although we asked for backup repeatedly and never got it."

"That will be thoroughly investigated and remedies applied. I will not have teams in contact go unsupported when they ask for backup. Now, how was he burned? In the van?"

"No, M-General, he took out part of the group using an oxygen tank as a missile and then he saw and intercepted the RPG team coming from our rear and took them out. He used the RPG to fire at the glass and metal covered wall behind the remaining group and took them out. Major Casey and I engaged and eliminated the survivors. I yelled at him to watch the back blast but he was too focused to hear me. Part of the exhaust from the RPG went out the partially opened door while the rest enveloped Bartowski in flames after bouncing off the metal wall. He dropped and rolled, putting out the clothing that was on fire and we called for a medevac."

Beckman looked at her two agents and saw no blame there. It was the luck of the draw. However, she could make sure something never happened again to the asset.

"When Mr. Bartowski returns to duty, Agent Lodge you will continue fire arms training. Major Casey, I want you to familiarize him with all weapons systems and explosives used by US and foreign forces. Had he known about the back blast this would have been another picture-perfect mission and for that, I take full responsibility. See to it that he learns, people."

* * *

**Venice General Hospital  
Burn Unit/ICU  
Venice, CA**

"Dr. Woodcomb, your brother is one fortunate individual. His clothing was almost totally cotton fibers and he followed standard procedure for burning, stop, drop and roll. It surely saved him skin grafts and scarring. As it is he'll need to stay here for a day or two because of the possibility of seared lungs. So far, so good but we want to be careful with him."

"Normally I'd transfer him to a specialty burn clinic but his employer has specified that this hospital is where he'll receive the best treatment. A team of burn specialists arrived in the last hour and have taken over his care. I'm impressed with what I've seen so far. He should be out and about in a few days."

* * *

Ellie waited until she was in her car before calling Sarah Walker. It had been 7 hours since she'd spoken to her last and all that time had been spent pacing the halls worrying about her little brother. Would he need skin grafts? Would there be scarring and if so, where and how bad? She wanted these questions answered for herself and for Sarah Walker.

"Sarah, it's Ellie. He's OK. No skin grafts and minimal scarring. The only thing they're worried about is searing of the lungs. Casey and Lodge haven't come up with a good excuse to explain this yet. It should be interesting. Barring any complications, he'll be out in two to three days."

"Oh, thank God, Ellie, I was so scared. I kept trying to figure out how to get back there. I was so scared. Are you sure he's all right? Explain lung searing? Sounds terrible. Is he in pain? Is he conscious? Have you seen him, Ellie? I was so afraid."

"Sarah, he's sleeping and he has a pain drip. Searing is when someone inhales superheated air. I don't think this is the case with Chuck. There's no blistering around the mouth or nose, just no hair. It's all gone, Sarah, just gone. But it'll grow back, don't worry. He'll have those curls again."

"I'll write him everyday, Ellie, I promise. I'd love to talk to him but it's too risky right now. I'll talk to you later. I have to catch a plane to Budapest. I love you guys."  


* * *

'Sarah:

_I'm so sorry to have sent you away. That sounds trite but it's true. Sorry doesn't begin to come close. I had no idea and yeah, I guess that was your fault but considering the way we were living, I could see that there was no other option than silence._

_I misinterpreted your sighs. I thought you were longing for action, to get back in the game, to go where you could make a difference. I was so wrong. Can you please forgive this stupid nerd who loves you more than life itself? Please?_

_I'm having some trouble holding this pen. My hands are a little blistered and the goo that comes out makes the pen all slippery. I have a surprise for you in the big envelope you should be receiving with this one or in the next few days._

_Hint – it's a freshly Chucked one._

_I love you, babe and I always will. Don't do anything stupid like trying to save the world single handed. That's my job. [That's a joke, Sarah.]_

_And I did stay in the van until some asshole blew it up with an RPG. Neener neener._

_Your Chuck'  


* * *

_

**Hotel Magyara  
Budapest, Hungary**

Sarah Walker ripped open the large padded DHL envelope postmarked Los Angeles and shrieked with delight. She held it up to her nose and inhaled and was instantly transported to his room and into his arms.

A t-shirt, freshly Chucked. She couldn't stop laughing, sniffing or crying. She was so incredibly touched and happy. For just a few seconds she was home.

* * *

**Castle Facility  
Burbank, CA**

"Welcome back, Chuck. I see the Howie Mandel look is popular." Judith Lodge was tickled pink that her partner and asset was back and in good shape. She'd been so worried that she'd called her mother for the first time in years for something other than money or a favor or to pull her ass out of a jam. It was a memorable conversation.

"Mom, it's Judith. No, nothing's wrong. No, I don't need money. No, I – Mother, please! I just called because I was so scared today. My partner got burned and I fell apart. I got him medevaced but then I just quit doing anything and just sat down and cried. How unprofessional is that?"

"Yeah, I know I did the job and then flaked out but I was so scared. There was nothing I could do but still, I'm responsible for the big klutz and I let him down. He got hurt because I wasn't doing my job."

"Thanks, Mom. I'll be home for Thanksgiving if I can swing it. How're Sis and the kids doing? Yeah, having the three of them there must be great. I miss all of you. Mom, it's not the same. A picture or a DVD is just not the same as being there, nor is an internet on-line video chat."

"He's going to be released tomorrow and I'll get to see the Great Hairless One for the first time since it happened. I just couldn't face him after letting him get hurt. Yeah, I know, I did my job and there's no room for sentimentality but you did it for Dad and don't deny it."

"OK, I gotta go. Love you."  


* * *

"Chuck, can I get a hug, please? I was so scared. I popped those thugs and then got to you as quickly as I could but you were out cold. Casey called in a medevac and you were gone in 15 minutes. No more 'Chuck is toast' comments, partner, please? I don't need the reminder."

He gently took her in his arms and held her against his chest. It stung like hell but they both needed the contact. Where she hadn't shown up at the hospital he thought she'd been hurt or worse and then he worried she was mad at him. Now he understood that she was just afraid.

"Hey, Jude, I found us an apartment near here. It's got 2 bedrooms and TWO baths so I won't have to see your dainty unmentionables hanging off the shower curtain. One of the nurses needed a sublet and I got the key and we can go see it this afternoon if that's all right?"

She squeezed him in appreciation not realizing that he would have scream if he could have caught his breath.

"Oh, my God, I'm so sorry, Chuck. Sit down, please. I'm so sorry. I forgot. Please say something."

He just sat there looking stunned and finally got his breath back. "Don't do that for a while, OK? I don't think I can stand another hug until the stuff heals. Don't worry, just please don't touch me."  


* * *

They picked up the sublet on the apartment and planned their move. He really didn't have that much and she had…almost nothing and that surprised Chuck.

"Jude, you don't have pictures of the family, any books or keepsakes, nothing that is personal? Is that a job requirement or is it just personal preference?"

"I got rid of everything I couldn't pack in one suitcase. Makes life a lot easier. And yes, I have 'keepsakes' and they're safe at home with my family and no, I don't want to talk about it anymore, please?"

"Fine. Be a putz. And remember, no touching until the hair is back. That's the only way I can be sure you don't maim me."

"Asshole."

"Malignant dwarf."  


* * *

**Budapest, Hungary**

"_You darling man. I got your package. Freshly "Chucked" indeed. God I needed that. I couldn't be with you when you were hurt but every night I get to spend time with you in my dreams thanks to your t-shirt. I figure you'll run out of t-shirts before I run out of need. _

_Work is going so poorly. We just don't have the intelligence info we need to connect the dots and find out who's supplying the weapons and the route they're taking so we can get the locals to wrap them up in a strike. It's times like this I realize how much we depended on you and your brain for answers and dot-connecting._

_Anyhow, I had my fortune told today by an old Romany lady, a real gypsy. I'm going to go gray before I'm 50 and have children and a long loving marriage. She said 'your man is tall and has no hair but he will have hair soon and that makes no sense to me so I must be wrong about everything. Keep your money.'_

_Now that's spooky, Chuck. Stop singing the theme to The Twilight Zone, Chuck. I know you're doing it. _

_I miss you guys terribly and with the fall coming I know those important Bartowski holidays are just around the corner. I wish I could be there with you but I don't think I can swing it. Of course if you weren't so damned important you could come over here but I don't think that's possible either._

_I love you, Chuck, never doubt it. These letters are a poor substitute for what I want to show you but please be patient. _

_Your Sarah  


* * *

_**Castle Facility**

Chuck had just reread Sarah's letter and was embarrassed because he had been whistling the theme to The Twilight Zone but it was freaky what the old gypsy lady told her.

Chuck reviewed the dailies for any references that he could flash on and had no luck. The HQ summaries were also duds. He felt he needed a refresher and emailed the General to get her opinion.

His response was not long in coming.

"Mr. Bartowski, I agree with you. Intel is worthless if it's old and some of the stuff rattling around in your head was old when I was young. I'll send your handlers details on when and where the update will be performed. Good thinking."

Other than 'Good morning, General', Chuck had nothing else to say. "My God but she's one abrupt lady. I hope she's better with her grandkids."

Judith Lodge looked at Chuck and asked, "Why in the world would you say something like that, Chuck? I don't think she's married."

"Well, she's got at least one grandchild, Allison. I 'met' her the night I, well, a week before you were assigned here. Our General Beckman is a doting grandmother to an infant but I wonder if she's patient with her older grandchildren? Oh, well, none of my business."

Chuck and Casey caught a flight out of John Wayne airport and flew first class to Reagan International in Washington. They were met by NSA agents who drove them out to FT Meade and the Intersect Project Headquarters.

"Casey, this must be like a homecoming for you? Anyone you want to see while I'm tied up?"

"Nope. And I can't leave your side, Chuck, General's orders. We don't know who might be compromised by Fulcrum and can't take a chance. Besides, there's no one here I'd like to see. No one at all."

Chuck felt sorry for Casey. As far as he knew, Casey was all alone in the world and that sucked.

A/N: Abrupt ending but I have to leave. APR


	4. Assassins and Mother's Daughters

Sighsofmiscommunications4

_A/N: This 'one shot' is getting out of hand. I'm going to wrap it up here I think. I have two others to finish.  
_

_  
APR  
Horseshoe Beach FL  
13Aug2009_

* * *

**FT Meade, MD  
NSA Headquarters**

The download went off surprisingly well except for an incessant buzzing in his ears. The techs all told him it was nothing to worry about but Chuck pointed out loudly, since in his mind the noise was loud, that their heads had never been stuffed with anything remotely resembling what had been shoved into his brain. He told them to fix it or Beckman would have their collective asses. When he walked almost drunkenly out of the treatment room one tech said to the other, "Man, we better find out what went wrong. We shouldn't have messed with the download rate. Beckman _will_ have our asses if we screwed up her Intersect."

Casey watched as Chuck walked slowly and carefully down the corridor towards the cafeteria where they were to meet up after the download. Something was definitely wrong when Bartowski turned and walked into the wall and stopped after grabbing it as if he were going to fall.

"Bartowski, what the hell is wrong with you? Are you drunk?" He tried to make it sound snarky because he knew Chuck would freak out if he actually sounded concerned. But there was definitely something wrong.

"Casey, my balance is shot and I have this high-pitched buzzing and whining in my ears. Sounds like a bunch of mosquitoes and it's hard to hear. I think you better get Beckman's wizards to check out the download and me. I don't know and right now I can't think straight."

He slid down the wall and sat on the floor and closed his eyes hoping that the nausea caused by his dizziness wouldn't make him…

"Oh, shit!" Casey jumped back and still got Chuck's last meal on his shoes. Casey ran down the corridor to the nurses' station and told them there was an emergency.

* * *

Two hours and a total physical later he was still dizzy and still puking up things he couldn't remember eating. He was on intravenous fluids to counter any dehydration and he wasn't thrilled about that. They'd tried Compazine and were waiting to see if it helped any.

Beckman was enraged and called her entire Intersect staff into a private meeting that might as well have been held in the hallway since she was shouting so loudly.

"You assholes screwed up the most important man in the intelligence business. You've reduced him to a puking, dizzy and useless wreck. He can't even stand up without being sick. Figure out what went wrong, how to fix it and get Chuck Bartowski healthy again or you'll all be looking for work at the damned South Pole. I want an update every half hour and no one eats, sleeps or goes home until Chuck's fully functional again."

Casey just shook his head. 'Thank God Walker wasn't here or those guys would have been gelded and gutted for messing up her boyfriend.'

Casey figured he'd better call Judith Lodge to tell her the good news. And he needed to buy another pair of shoes. These ones would never take a shine again.

"Lodge, secure."

"Casey, secure. Bartowski has had a reaction or something to the download. He's dizzy, nauseous and puking up things best left undescribed. The techs are working on it and the General is walking around with a firing squad in tow. He complained of dizziness and high pitched noise and then staggered into a wall and sat down. Immediately after that he covered my shoes with his last meal. I'll report back in with an update when things change, Lodge. Just wanted you to know."

"Call me if or when there's any change. Do I need to fly out there?"

"No, he's in no danger except from our technicians. Stay put. Nothing you can do."

Several hours later and he was still suffering from vertigo and occasionally vomiting. He'd learned to ignore the whining in his ears but the bloody vomit was scaring the hell out of him. Casey asked a doctor who told him and Chuck that it was nothing to really worry about, just an irritated stomach lining. Chuck cussed him out and he scuttled away.

"Chuck, don't sweat it. Beckman's on their case. They'll solve the problem. Maybe it's not related to the download at all. Maybe it's a 24-hour bug or virus?"

Chuck stared at Casey then smiled. "Get that damned asshole programmer back here. It's a computer virus in his download. Get him to scrub it clean and reload it."

He lay back down, exhausted. Maybe this would fix the problem. He'd try anything at this point.  


* * *

"You're telling me that it was a virus in the download? If it was a virus, was it deliberately planted? Do we have a security leak?"

"Specifically, General, Chuck said it was a Trojan Horse that would have replicated itself until all the other data was overwritten, including, Chuck thinks, his body's autonomic systems. In short, it was an assassin program. A long and painful assassination program. He recommended replacing everyone and starting fresh. There must be something in the download they didn't want known. That's what he figures."

"It will be done immediately. I'll put them all in security hold and we'll sweat the truth out of them. I'm sorry for the innocent but the guilty must be found and eliminated after a thorough interrogation. In my own operation, spies? Disgraceful. And how's Mr. Bartowski?"

"Better. Ears have quit ringing and it's been hours since he vomited. He's been asleep and on glucose and saline drips to balance his electrolytes. He should be awake in a few hours and we can test him."

"Good. See to it."  


* * *

Chuck sighed and pulled out the IV's that were almost empty anyway and got out of bed. He wasn't dizzy but he felt disoriented, as if he'd been asleep a lot longer than a few hours and he had the remnants of a headache. He was just very glad that they'd fixed the problem.

But he knew he had another problem. There was a Fulcrum mole in NSA Headquarters and he needed to identify him before he tried something more immediate than a mere computer virus.

He found his clothes and dressed and walked out into the corridor, ignoring the trickle of blood from where he'd pulled out the IV's. That was the least of his problems.

He found Casey in the cafeteria and he sat down with him.

"How you feeling, Bartowski? You still look like crap. Should you be up and around? What did the doctor say?"

"I didn't talk to anyone. I can only trust you. Casey, there's a Fulcrum mole here at NSA HQ. That was no mere corrupted file. It was deliberately written to replicate itself and overwrite all the existing data with itself and eventually would have killed me. We need to find him. I need access to the personnel files and I need it now. Get Beckman's OK but get it done, please, before the next attempt."

Casey knew Chuck was scared. Who wouldn't be? He called Beckman and made arrangements and then took Chuck to the Internal Security Division's computer center to review the files. There were literally thousands.

Seven hours and 2,388 images later Chuck flashed on Elizabeth Ivanko, a computer technician in another building. Casey checked the logs and found that she'd been in to the Intersect Section on a routine repair the day before Chuck had contacted General Beckman regarding a download refresher. That meant his identity was secure and that Fulcrum was planting the virus to catch the next download, not this one that wasn't on the schedule. They'd lucked out.

When agents went to her home to make the arrest they found that her entire family had been killed in a 'home invasion'. Someone was tying up loose ends. Beckman was furious and wanted Chuck to review every employee file in the NSA and find 'those other traitorous bastards' but his doctor recommended that he rest and pick up the search from Burbank in a few days. He needed to 'rest his brain' and recover his stamina.  


* * *

**Chuck's New Apartment  
Burbank, CA**

Judith Lodge fussed over Chuck from the moment he entered the new apartment until he finally begged her to leave him alone. "Judith, please, just quit hovering, woman. You don't need to feel guilty you weren't there because you couldn't have done a damned thing to help. You had duties here that were just as important. I'm fine, Jude, and that's the truth. So please, let's pick a nice restaurant and get out among people. OK?"

"Chuck, you're supposed to be resting. General Beckman called and explained what happened and what you went through. I almost freaked out. Casey never went into any details. You could have died. The General said it was an assassination program. Oh, God, Chuck, you must have been so sick. How did you ever figure it out?"

"I didn't. Casey did, sort of, anyway. He said maybe I was sick from a flu bug or virus. I just went from there. And now, I'm really hungry, Jude, so unless you've suddenly developed your Julia Child abilities, please let's go out and get some foooood."

Judith watched Chuck like a hawk for the next few days looking for any signs of problems from the download virus. After three days she finally admitted to herself that she was needlessly worried and also needlessly harassing here cover boyfriend. He'd been eating, sleeping, laughing and joking just like the 'old Chuck' so she eased off the mother hen and went back to being his partner and pseudo lover.

Everything was fine until they went to Ellie and Devon's for the ritual of the Friday Night Mystery Meal. Ellie gasped when she saw her brother.

"Chuck, what the hell have you been doing to yourself? You've lost weight and, oh shit, those are IV tracks in your arm."

"Not now, Ellie, please. It's no big deal. I was in D.C. on business and caught a bug and couldn't keep anything down and the ER docs at the facility put me on something to restore my 'electrolyte balance' whatever the hell that is. No big thing, I'm fine now and starved."

"Ellie, he's been doing everything normally. I've been watching him like a hawk. He's been eating us out of food every few days. It's like he's got a pit in there." She poked him gently in the stomach.

Later, when Judith and Devon cleared the table, Ellie handed Chuck two envelopes and gave him a big smile. "Two, must be love, little brother."

He put the envelopes in his pocket to read later that night. Since he shared the apartment but not his bedroom with his partner, privacy was no issue.  


* * *

Finally escaping the cover-related chitchat, Chuck had the chance to read Sarah's letters. Thankfully she always put a sequence number on the bottom rear corner so he knew if letters were in the right order or if any were missing.

'_Dear Bald One:_

_I figure that title is a fleeting one since your hair grows out faster than most people so I'll use while it still applies._

_I miss you so much, Chuck, and it hurts to know you were hurt and I couldn't be there. I almost said 'to hell with it' and jumped on a plane to Los Angeles to be with you. I know you're fine now but I've had this feeling of dread for the last few days. I hope you're taking care of my man for me, Chuck. And scars don't bother me so don't let them bother you, Chuck._

_Before I forget, please send another fix for me. I've sucked out all the Chuck scent I can from this rag and it's heading for the suitcase for emergencies. Please, baby, I really love the t-shirts. They bring you to me, if only through scent. But it makes me happy and you should want that if you really, really love me, Chuck. I need the damned t-shirts like a crackhead needs the next smoke. I'm hopelessly addicted to you. _

_Baby, I want to come home soon. I want to quit this crap job that keeps me away from you and just come home and love you and be everything you need in a woman. I think maybe Beckman would not object to an unpaid security source for her Intersect. Someone might sneak into your bed and do terrible things to you and I could protect you from those nasties while doing other nasties to you, myself._

_I'm going to close this off now before I start bawling. I miss you, Chuck, and it hurts knowing so much is arrayed against us. Will we ever have a life together or is this as good as it can get?_

_I'll never love another, Chuck, only you._

_Sarah_

Chuck took a deep breath and reread the letter. He was feeling a sense of dread like none he'd felt since he'd sent her away. Would she hold on and stay the course or would she weaken and finally say 'to hell with it' and move on? He had no idea what to do and he was beginning to feel a sense of panic.

He had no one to turn to for advice. He didn't think this subject was covered in the CIA training regimen. Casey would laugh in his face and Beckman would either throw him underground or do something equally terrible to Sarah.

He turned the unopened envelope over and over in his hands, afraid to open it because it might contain either an ultimatum or a 'Dear Chuck, I love you but…"

He always suspected he was a coward and now he had proof. He was afraid to open an envelope because its contents might cause him irreparable harm. How stupid was that?

He ripped the envelope open and read her letter.

_Dear Chuck:_

_It's been three days since my last letter and I had hoped this one would be more upbeat but it won't be._

_I heard from someone we both know about what happened in D.C., Chuck, and I don't want to be a widow before I'm even a bride. I'm coming home and we'll just deal with the shit Beckman throws at us. I'm sorry, I'm not strong like you. I can't deny myself happiness like you did when you misunderstood those sighs and sent me away to where you thought I'd be happy. Well, damn it, I'm not happy, I'm frikkin' miserable and I'm going to do something about it._

_I'll be home in Burbank in 4 days from the date of this letter. I don't care if the entire NSA is waiting to kill me, Chuck, I will have you in my life, we will be together and I don't care who I have to beg, threaten or kill to make that happen._

_Sorry for all the drama in the last letter but I'm at the end of my rope emotionally._

_By the way, will you, Charles Bartowski, marry me? Please say yes. I couldn't live with less._

_Your loving Sarah_

A few minutes after finishing her last letter he called Casey and asked him for a few minutes of his time, face-to-face. He had something he needed some 'older guy' advice on.

He knocked at Judith's door. "Hey Jude, I'm running over to Casey's for a few minutes. I need some advice on something. I'll call when I get there and when I leave. Won't be late." He didn't wait for a response. She was probably asleep.  


* * *

**John Casey's Apartment  
Burbank, CA**

He opened the door to Chuck's almost knock and motioned him in.

"Ok, Bartowski, what's so damned important it couldn't wait until tomorrow?"

"Casey, I – I- I've been exchanging letters with Sarah and things have gotten straightened out and now they've become a mess again. The short version: she's on her way here, right now, and will land at LAX around midnight and we're going to get married and that's it in a nutshell."

John Casey just stared at him. He didn't move a muscle or blink or twitch or reach for his gun; he just stared at him. Then he did something he'd never done before – he smiled, a real smile, showing all his teeth and the smile was so genuine that his eyes crinkled and he looked 10 years younger.

"Well, son, it's about fucking time. I thought you two were never going to have the balls to take life seriously and just go for it. I'm proud of you, Bartowski. You're finally a man in my eyes. Go for it. Don't end up like me. I lost my chance and it's been eating away at me slowly. I didn't have the balls you do, Chuck. Take the shot."

"Well, actually, Sarah made the decision. I was trying to figure out how to get over there and spend some time with her and maybe get married and screw Beckman but, well, she preempted my plans. And I'm not sure just what to do and how to handle this situation."

"Well, hell, Chuck. You take her to your room and you take off all your clothes and then…"

"No, no, asshole. I know how to do that, I don't know how to handle Beckman. She's going to have a cow or worse, send Sarah to the ends of the earth and me down the memory hole. I can't let that happen. So I'm asking for some advice here, John."  


* * *

**LAX  
Los Angeles, CA**

Chuck drove Casey's pool car to LAX and was waiting at the agreed spot when he flashed on several NSA agents milling around the terminal where Sarah's plane was going to disembark it's passengers in about 15 minutes. The strangest thing was that not one of them even looked his way. Then it dawned on him that they were there to pick up Sarah, to intercept her and stop them from meeting. He felt a slow rage building within him like nothing he'd ever felt before.

He stood there waiting. He was armed and he figured he could take out 3 or 4 of them before they could reach her and to hell with the consequences. He knew it was stupid, foolhardy, crazy, and even insane but he had to do something.

Chuck spotted someone else in the milling crowd of passengers and those waiting for loved ones. Judith Lodge. What the hell was she doing here? Wait, why hadn't he flashed on her like he did the other agents? In fact, why wasn't her file in the intersect?

She looked over in his direction and he knew the exact moment she recognized him because her face reflected first shock, then shame and finally resolution. She smiled at him then, a sad smile full of pain. He pulled out his iPhone and dialed Sarah's number. He'd never given any thought to it's being in service he just dialed it as speed dial #1.

"Chuck, I'm on the ground and just about ready to attach to the jet way. Couldn't this have waited just a bit?" And she was laughing, delighted with his call and his impatience.

"Sarah, it's a trap. There's NSA all over the place and my handler, Judith Lodge, she's in the middle of it. I can't flash on her, Sarah, just the other NSA agents. I can take maybe half of them, Sarah, but the rest… Oh, God, we were so close. So close."

"Chuck, listen to me. Listen. Leave. Leave now. Do not approach those agents. It's OK, baby, I promise you. Nothing will happen to me. Just leave now, Chuck. Please. I promise, nothing, nothing will happen."

"No! No, I won't let you go. Not again. This shit stops now, right now. I don't care what happens to me, Sarah. I won't let them hurt you. It stops now. Stay on the plane. It'll be all right baby. Remember, I love you. Only you. Good bye, Sarah."

He pocketed his iPhone, ignoring Sarah's demands that he leave and meet her later. There would be no later. He started picking his target order based on how close they were to the gate, to Sarah.

Judith Lodge felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She frowned until she saw the caller ID. "Lodge, secure."

"Walker, highly pissed. What the hell are you doing, Jude? Why are you and your goons staking out the concourse? You have a helluva lot of explaining to do, little girl. You're messing up my life and I've had it. Back off before he starts blasting away trying to 'save' me. You've pushed the wrong man, Judith Beckman Montgomery Lodge; he's not like anyone you've ever met. He's committed, Jude. You've seen how he does things. Others come first. And right now, I'm his 'other'.

Chuck watched as Judith answered her cell phone, listened and then looked over at him, a look of fear mixed with envy on her face. She said a few more words into the phone, listened, for what seemed hours to Chuck, and then hung up. She looked at Chuck and smiled, a full smile like Christmas morning, then she motioned to one of the other agents who spoke into a cuff mike and they began to disperse.

She walked over to him and put her arms around him, effectively blocking him from pulling his weapon from the shoulder rig. She looked up at him and smiled that same smile.

"My Mom's going to be so pissed at you, Chuck. Don't worry. Nothing's going to happen to your precious Sarah Walker. We were here to stop anyone from hurting _you,_ dumb ass. You left without either of your handlers, you left your watch on the sink in the john and I only twigged to where you were headed when I called Casey and he told me about his 'advice'."

"At first I thought you were running out on us but now I know you were running _to_ us. Give me the keys to Casey's car, please. I don't want to hurt you, Chuck, but I want those keys. You won't be needing them anymore. Other transportation has been arranged."

"Jude, you've totally confused me and that doesn't take a lot these days. Just what the hell are you saying? And while we're on the subject, just who the hell are you? You're not in the NSA database and you're not in the intersect. Who the hell are you?"

"All in good time, Chuck. All in good time. Right now I believe you have a plane to meet. Promise me one thing, though, Chuck, just one tiny thing?"

"What's that?"

"When you find out the answer to all your questions, don't hate me, please? I was doing a job, not one I particularly wanted, but a job. I was a place holder, nothing more. And that's the way it was supposed to be. See ya around, Charles. Watch your ass out there."

She walked around him and there stood Sarah Walker. Judith walked up to her and handed her a set of keys. "The Porsche is in short-term parking. The ticket's under the mat. Your weapon is behind the passenger seat and your boyfriend is right behind me. Anything else, Agent Sarah Montgomery Walker?"

"Nope. Ya did good, kid. And you kept your knickers on with _him_ around? You have grown up."

"Oh, screw you, sis. I didn't even try. He was too damned lost and when he got that first letter I could have killed you. You broke his heart, you bitch. You are so much like mom even if she's your stepmother'.

"Well, I take that as a compliment. So, tell me, what do you think of him?"

"If he wasn't already taken, and I wasn't married... He's wonderful, Sarah. No shit. You have no idea…"

"Yes, I do. He sent me away to be 'happy' and lost his own happiness. I told you he was committed. Well, so am I. And how is Jerry? Still pushing troops in the Marines?"

"Captain Jeremiah Lodge is completing his final tour of duty in the Crotch and will be home before Easter. And then I'm back on the retired list. No more favors, Sarah, understand? You and mom will just have to wing it. I'm done with this spy shit."

"No way. I suppose you're going to get preggers as soon as possible?"

"Why not? Have you seen Ali? Chuck thinks she adorable."

"What? Oh, no. Not yet. We still have some wild things to do with our lives. No kids until at least… whenever."

"See you Christmas?" Judith asked.

"Nope. A Bartowski Christmas is a must-see-must-do event but maybe Thanksgiving?" Sarah responded.

"Ask Mom when you're ready for the lecture. Bye, sis."

"Hey, Walker, I almost forgot. I'm going down to Palm Springs to see dear old philandering Dad. The apartment's all yours. Try not to break anything. I signed for it."  


* * *

"Hello, there, baldy."

"Hello, Blondie."

"Need a lift?"

"Depends. Where are you going?"

"The nearest motel, why? You had something else in mind?"

"Yes, actually. I have an apartment, totally stocked for the weekend, no room mate and nothing but you on my mind."

"OK, I guess I can handle a delay." She smiled and rubbed his hair-stubble head and then started to tear up. "Oh, baby, I thought I was going to die when Ellie called and said you'd been burned on a mission. I couldn't reach Casey or Jude or anyone. No one would answer or could answer. I was so scared, Chuck. Like I wrote, I was coming home but then Ellie said you were fine, just crispy around the edges so I put off my leaving until…"

He kissed her just to shut her up. Well, no, he kissed her because he could, finally.

"Let's go home, Sarah."

* * *

_**A/N: There WILL be an epilogue of near-epic proportions.**_


	5. Epilogue

SighsEpilogue

Chuck's Apartment

Burbank, CA

"Wow, Chuck, just…wow." She snuggled closer to him. She was very comfortable and it would take an Act of God to make her move, although she was still very aroused. She'd climaxed several times but she still felt her body responding to his. It would always respond.

She nuzzled his neck, sucking and nipping at his pulse point and shivered when he groaned.

"You are insatiable, Sarah, insatiable."

"Yeah, don't you just hate it, too?" She paused, gathering her thoughts.

"I love you, Chuck. Really, really, love you. I don't say it well but I mean it with all my heart."

They didn't talk again for quite a while. She was too busy showing him how she felt.

Chuck looked at the clock on the nightstand. "Shit, Sarah, it's almost 3am and I'm sure Judith is sleeping in her car to give us some privacy. I can't let her do that. I need to go down and roust her out and let her sleep in her own bed. Be right back."

Sarah was almost asleep and answered without thinking. "Don't worry about her, Chuck. She went to Palm Springs to see our Da…d_." 'Oh, SHIT!'_

Chuck dropped the boxers he was trying to put on and froze.

"Sarah, what exactly did you just say?"

She was dreading this. The _MOMENT of TRUTH_. She sighed.

"Sarah, I know that sigh. It's the 'oh, crap, I really don't want to do this now' sigh."

"Well, you got that one right at least. You know we could have avoided all of this if I'd just told you how I felt instead of making you interpret my actions, OK, my _sighs,_ since that's all you had to go on."

"But Chuck, I really suck at talking about…_feelings._ I've never been good at verbalizing. I was so happy with things the way they were and I was sure we were moving forward and…" She stopped at that point. She didn't know how to say what she was feeling mostly because she felt so damned stupid for not just blurting out "Chuck, I love you, too" when she finally realized how she felt.

"Sarah, stop talking and listen to me, please, honey. Just listen."

"I already know how you feel from your wonderful letters. You couldn't say things but you wrote them beautifully. No, I know you love me more than anything and I hope you know I feel the same but that's not what I'm asking."

"You thought they were wonderful? Beautiful? Really?" Delay, delay, delay.

"Yes. That's not what I'm asking you right now".

She admired his naked butt as he walked over and sat down at the desk.

She started to get out of bed but he stopped her.

"No. Stay right there. You're too damned beautiful and distracting and… well, just please stay right there. For just a couple of minutes. I have questions and you have the answers. I ask, you answer, OK, Sarah?"

"Maybe. I can't promise. You know. The job."

"OK. We're done here." He got up and gathered his clothing that was scattered all over the room and began dressing.

"Chuck, what… what are you doing? Please, baby, come back to bed."

He looked at her with the saddest smile she'd ever seen on his face in the two years they'd been together.

"I'm the intersect, Sarah Walker, the damned intersect. There's just about nothing I don't know about you and all your…all your…oh, never mind." He pulled on his pants and tucked in his polo. "Shoes. Where the hell are my damned shoes?"

"Chuck, please stop. Don't leave me, please! OK, OK, I'll tell you everything. It'll be the end of us but at least there'll be no more lies between us." That got his attention and he sat down at the desk once more.

"Judith Lodge is my… my half-sister. We have the same Dad. He lives in Palm Springs and she went down to visit him. She really loves the old womanizer and tries to see him as often as possible since his retirement. She's the baby of the family and she's spoiled rotten, always has been a spoiled little brat."

Chuck nodded and almost smiled. There was no ire or disgust in her voice when she described her sister.

"Fine. How did she happen to appear as my handler? And why was she never cleared for intersect operations until the last month and why couldn't I flash on her?"

"I asked her to do it when you sent me away. I talked to the General and she approved it. Judith came out of retirement and that's why she never was cleared for intersect operations and why you couldn't flash on her, Chuck. She wasn't in the database. She's technically inactive."

"She's retired? Hell, Sarah, she can't be much more that 25! Retired?"

"I take it then that you never saw her in anything other than long sleeves and slacks or a skirt?"

"What are you suggesting, Walker? I stayed true to you. There was never, ever, a thought like that about Judith or anyone else, for that matter. Jesus, Sarah, I'm not wired that way." He was visibly upset and Sarah knew she had to control the conversation or she'd lose him forever. She leaped out of the bed and ran over and sat on his lap, her arms around his neck.

"Chuck, please, I wasn't suggesting anything. Jude said you were the perfect gentleman at all times. She thinks you're 'wonderful'. I'm glad you opted for two bedrooms, Chuck. It might have gotten ugly. She's married to a Marine captain in Iraq."

"So she retired when she got married? Would _you_ have to retire if you got married?"

Sarah sighed a long sigh and he had no idea what it meant. "Chuck, when you got burned in the warehouse, she didn't come to see you, did she?"

"Uh, no, but I was out of it, pretty much. So?"

"And remember how I freaked out when I found out you were burned? I was ready to dump it all and just come home?"

"Yeah, although it wasn't all that bad. No real scarring, just baldness." She rubbed his head and smiled sadly.

"Jude can't say the same, Chuck. Her thighs, chest, back and shoulders are horribly scarred from burns. She was medically retired 3 years ago. We spent a lot of time together in the burn unit. I just held her hand a lot. It was bad. There were operations and well, if she hadn't met Jerry I don't think she would have made it."

He was very quiet remembering all her actions and words after he returned to the apartment. How gentle she was and how she shielded him with Ellie. It all made sense now.

"I didn't know. I never thought… Jesus, does it hurt her to move around? We had mission that required a lot of physical movement. I had no idea."

"Chuck, it's more psychological that physical with women but that's why she kept you at arms length. Well, that and the fact she knew I'd kill her or Jerry would if you two got physical."

"Damn it, Sarah, I told you I never, ever, considered anything with her. Hell, I didn't even _like _her at first. Then she started crying and… and … well, hell, I just couldn't let Beckman hassle her, Sarah. You should have seen the look on her face. She was _terrified _of Beckman."

Chuck couldn't identify the look on Sarah's face. He'd never seen it on her and he had no idea what it meant. First she looked shocked and then merely… irritated.

"What's that look for, Sarah? Beckman was on conference and wanted to know where she was. I covered for her. She was all red and puffy from crying and wouldn't have made a very good impression on the General."

"She always did use those damned tears to wheedle out of things. Is that the only time she pulled that crap, Chuck? Did she have a dangling false eyelash and snotty nose, too?"

"Oh, shit. She played me, didn't she? Casey was so right about her and her damned tears. He said it was all an act you women use to break us down and use us."

"Charles Irving Bartowski, I have never, ever, used tears on you, never you. And I have no intentions of starting now. So if you see tears, they're real. Jesus, men!"

"OK, but if you two share a father what about all that stuff about being the daughter of a conman and how you were always on the run and using a zillion different names?"

"Back story, Chuck. A cover for the cover for the real thing. My mom did die when I was 2 and I lived with my Dad and we did travel a lot until we landed in Washington and he started teaching. I think I was almost 5."

"Anyhow, he met and married Jude's mom and we lived together until they divorced. I was 17 then and it was the summer I graduated from high school. I loved my step-mom like a real mom and took her side. My Dad has never forgiven me. Judith just played both of them for all she could get. Little spoiled brat!"

"So, I'll ask the obvious question. Why is this story of yours going to be the 'end of us'?"

"Judith's full name is Judith Beckman Montgomery Lodge. Our mom is Diane Beckman, Chuck, that's why it's the end of us. After all she's done to you, threatened to do to you and may yet do to you, you can't possibly still want to be with me let alone get married."

"I'll pack my stuff and head back to Hungary. At least I'll have this memory to cherish," she said, glancing at the rumpled bed. And then she sighed.

"I don't speak 'sighs', Sarah Walker. Explain yourself. Make it simple so I can understand."

"I – I thought it would be easier if you didn't know, honestly. This changes everything between us, doesn't it, Chuck? My mother is the woman who wants you dead or in a bunker if things get too dicey. My mother is the woman everybody is afraid of and hates. My mother ordered John Casey to kill you once, Chuck. I didn't know. Casey told me about it later."

"Any other skeletons in the closet? You might as well clean house, Agent Walker."

"My Dad's Roane Montgomery, Chuck."

"Roane Montgomery? Diane Beckman? Who was Arthur Graham, your damned fairy godfather?"

She could tell he was shocked. Who wouldn't be if they found out they were in love with the stepdaughter of the Devil in female form?

"So, I guess this is it? We're done? No more Chuck and Sarah? No more us?"

"Is that what you want, Sarah? You want to go back to the way it was? I don't but if it's too hard for you, we can just forget all about the past months and each of us crawl back under our rocks and wait to die or be killed. What do you want, Sarah?"

"I want to get married, Chuck. I want to spend whatever time we have together and to hell with my mother and the CIA and the NSA and all the other A's"

"Fine. But we call your mom, right now, and tell her together. I don't want to live with any more secrets than I have to. And then we go find Ellie and tell her. And Casey. No more secrets from friends or family, Sarah. No exceptions."

"Deal. But does it have to be right now? I want to get cleaned up a bit and be more presentable."

"You mean you don't want her to know what we've been doing to each other most of the night? Secrets, Sarah?" He laughed. It felt good to laugh again.

"That's mean, baby. I just don't want her thinking, oh hell, yeah, let's wake her up."

* * *

**Castle Facility**

**Burbank**

The NSA logo did its floating thing and then the connection was completed and the austere image of General Diane Beckman made its appearance.

"Mr. Bartowski, is there a reason for this unscheduled meeting?"

"Yes, General. I'm getting married and I wanted to offer you the option of attending since your daughter is my intended."

"WHAT? Who?" Sarah stepped from behind Chuck and smiled at the nonplussed image of her mother.

"Hi, Mom. It's me. I'm the 'intended'. Will you please come?"

The General's lips tightened. The corners twitched. Her eyes crinkled and the lips parted and a full smile appeared, wiping years from her age.

"Sarah, are you sure, baby? I mean… you'll be giving up a career to be with him. And let's be frank, it might not be all that pleasant. Chuck, have you told her about the attempt on your life? It's not going to be the first, I'm afraid."

"Mom, I know all about it. A friend in D.C. told me, and no, I'm not telling you who. Back channels have been an accepted communications practice since even before _your_ time, Mom. Life is full of risks. Besides, who'll watch his ass better than his wife? And I'm not giving up a career, I'm simply changing job descriptions."

"I thought your departure and requested replacement was a bit contrived. Have you two been plotting this for some time?"

"No, General. I was sincere in requesting her reassignment. We just had a communications breakdown for a bit. I thought she was unhappy and it turns out she was very happy and I just screwed it all up sending her away."

"Your intentions were good, Chuck. And honorable. And Judith tells me your conduct and personal deportment was impeccable. In fact, she said if she wasn't happily married… well, never mind that. She also had glowing comments about your performance and your concern for the security of the intersect. Like when you hung up on me. That was the correct action although it had to be explained later by Major Casey."

"In any event, where and when, Sarah? And Chuck, could I have a word with Sarah in private, please?" Chuck nodded and went in to get a cup of coffee.

"We'll have to let you know. I just got back last night."

"Yes, that was quite a performance at the airport. He was seriously going to take out the NSA team sent to protect him because he thought they were there for you? Really?"

"Yeah, and because Jude wasn't in the database he didn't flash on her but finally recognized her. She disarmed the situation but yes, he was prepared to take them on to allow me to get off the plane and escape."

"He's serious about this, then? It's not just some handler/asset thing, you're absolutely sure?"

"I love him and he loves me. No doubts, no questions. Explaining about you and Dad almost broke us up though. You and Chuck have an interesting 'history'."

"Well, he's not marrying me, Sarah, is he? Then if you're sure, you have my blessing. Let me know where and when and I'll be there. Umm, are you going to invite your father?"

"Of course. He's my Dad."

"Then I'll definitely be there." And Diane Beckman smiled and disconnected.

* * *

**Casa Bartowski**

It was a lot easier with Ellie and Devon.

When Ellie was told the news every dog in the county howled. Her shrill shriek of joy went from the sonic to ultrasonic and beyond. The windows rattled dangerously in their frames and two wineglasses at the local Catholic Church's refectory shattered causing several elderly Hispanic worshippers to collapse into prayer at the miracle.

"So when and where? Oh, Sarah, aren't you excited? Let's see, a dress, bridesmaids, and the reception. Hey, little brother, you seem to have forgotten something. Your betrothed is naked-handed. Didn't you realize that a _ring_ is required?"

"Uh, well, you see, uh, well…" He stammered because he hadn't thought that far ahead and secondly because _he_ hadn't said yes until a few hours ago.

"Ellie, the second letter you gave him last night was written 4 days ago in Hungary. In it I told Chuck I was coming back last night and he had zero time to do much more than pick me up from the airport and take me home. Besides, I asked him in the letter and he only said 'yes' a few hours ago. I suppose since everything else about our relationship has been 'non-traditional', I should be giving him a ring, right?" They all laughed at that. Chuck was deep in thought, wondering how he would slip away and buy one without her hanging on him.

"So when and where? There's so much to do and so little time for it." Ellie was thinking that Sarah could borrow her 'Bride's Book' and use it as an outline and resource source. And she'd be right there to guide her along. If she hadn't been a doctor she was certain she'd opt for an 'event planner' instead. She loved the planning and organizing.

"Ellie, calm down. We've only been engaged a few hours. And he didn't say 'yes' officially until sometime after 4am this morning." She had the good sense to blush.

"Ellie, we'll be staying at my apartment for the time being until things shake out at work. Judith's gone home but you'll see her at the wedding. And Ellie, I'll send Sarah over sometime later this week to explain her family situation to you guys. It's … complicated."

Ellie turned and faced Sarah so that neither of the guys could see her face. She looked at Sarah with sad eyes and mouthed 'complicated?'

"Don't worry Ellie, it's not like that at all. It's just that my folks are divorced and living on separate coasts so it's difficult getting everyone together at the same time in a mutually convenient place." She knew what Ellie had been thinking. She'd apologized through tears when she'd talked to Sarah about Chuck's mission injury and mentioned 'complicated' as the basis of their relationship.

After agreeing to plans for the Mystery Meal Dinner on Friday, they walked across the courtyard to Casey's. Again, the door opened with the 'almost knock'.

"Well, I see she's back and you're together. That's great. Come on in and let's celebrate. I already opened up the house's best whiskey to breathe a bit. Whoa, it appears to have evaporated quite a bit. Here, you two finish this and I'll get another."

It was pretty obvious that he'd been drinking steadily since Chuck's departure. He looked over at Sarah and whispered "He's having a real problem with someone in or out of his personal life but he won't talk about it. He just keeps saying that he's lost his one chance. Know anything about that?"

Sarah looked at Casey and whispered, "Carina. He wanted to get married and she blew him off. One of these days I'm going to beat her ass for how she's treated him. He's nuts about her and has been ever since Prague. She floats in and out of his life, always taunting and teasing him. It's damned unfair but she's always been a tease and a bitch."

Chuck went off to find his other handler who was fast becoming an older brother figure and found him asleep on the floor beside an open carton of whiskey bottles. He looked on the wall at Casey's BuyMore schedule and saw that he was on vacation for the entire week and it looked like he planned to spend it drunk.

He couldn't do much except straighten him out, put a pillow under his head and make a mental note to check on him several times a day by phone to ensure he hadn't died or gotten alcohol poisoning. He'd cover his ass with Beckman, too.

* * *

**Fenemann Jewelers**

**Los Angeles, CA**

"Chuck, you don't have to buy me a ring. It's stupid to blow money on something I won't be able to wear as often as I'd like and I'd feel horrible if something happened to it on a mission – like some scumbag steals it."

"Nope, I want you to have a ring. No ifs, ands, or buts. Please, it's important to me."

"Fine, but nothing gaudy. Something simple and understated, like… me." Chuck looked at her from the corner of his eye.

"Yeah, like you're simple; and there's nothing understated about you? You'd stand out in a crowd of blonde look-alikes. I'd know you anywhere."

"Let's find one we can both agree on. And we'll need wedding bands, too. Might as well check another item off Ellie's list."

**Chuck's Apartment**

"Let's not fight about it, OK? We can keep on looking. I just didn't like any of the rings." In truth, she found them horribly expensive and wasteful. She much preferred the wide platinum band that looked so elegantly simple on her hand and so masculine on Chuck's. She was happy he'd bought those without complaint.

"We must have looked at 50 rings, Sarah, 50, and you didn't see one you liked? Unbelievable. Must be a girl thing."

"I don't need a big ring to know you love me, Chuck. The wedding band is what's meaningful to me and I love the ones you picked out." She kissed the corner of his down-turned mouth and smiled.

"I was thinking, maybe we could hold off the wedding until Jerry comes home from Iraq? And you'd have hair by then, too. You don't want to be hairless in our wedding portraits do you?" She giggled and ran her hand over his stubble.

"Ha ha ha, Sarah. But at least I won't be gray by 50, will I? Not so funny now, is it, Blondie?"

"I never should have told you about that. You're going to bug me about gray hair for the next 21 years, aren't you?" She really didn't care but liked the playful Chuck she'd missed so much.

"Of course I am. It's my duty in life."

"How about a nap, husband-to-be. I could use a little cuddling and maybe a little…"

"I don't know about that, Sarah. I don't think little Chuck's recovered from your insatiable lust fest of a mere 10 hours ago. He needs some recovery time."

Sarah walked over to where he was standing and put her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a mind-blowing tongue fest. Then she let her hand wander down and palmed his crotch.

"Oh, I don't know Big Chuck, but Little Chuck seems up for the challenge…" And giggling and tearing off her clothes she ran to the bedroom.

'Insatiable. The woman is insatiable. Thank you, God. I owe you big-time,' he thought following her trail and picking up the discarded t-shirt, bra, jeans, thong and socks…

Sarah called Carina on her cell and it went directly to voicemail. She left a brief but biting message and told her to return her call. Then she went to find Chuck and molest him again. Being engaged and 'engaged' was a lot of fun.

* * *

She was discovering that talking to each other about things was helping her get over her agent-inspired reticence. And that was why she found herself talking to her father for the first time since the divorce on a personal level instead of hanging up on him when he answered Judith's phone.

"So, Sarah, going to take the plunge? And with _him_? Well, I always said you had the biggest balls in the family next to your wicked step-mother."

"I really didn't call Jude's phone to talk to you, Roane. I called to talk to her. And I left the information on her voicemail, _**HER**_ voicemail. Since when do you listen to your daughter's voicemails? And since when do you even care about any of us?"

"I've always cared about my girls, Saraboo, always."

"Don't call me that, Roane. You lost Saraboo when you decided to screw your way through the secretarial pool at Langley. You broke Mom's heart and betrayed her trust. You made her bitter and I consider it your personal responsibility to at least show up and be polite at my wedding and when you have to stand next to her. And no, you may not 'bring a date'." Sarah knew her father too well. And she almost cried when he called her his pet name for her as a little girl. She missed her Daddy but loathed Roane Montgomery. In her mind there was a distinct difference between the two.

"And please don't refer to Chuck as 'him'. He has a name. Use it. And learn how to spell it because it's going to be my name, too. And if you embarrass him at the wedding, Roane, I'll medically retire you, understand?"

"Yes. See? Biggest balls in the family. So, how's your, Diane these days?"

"She's fine although she has her hands full between the grandbabies and _your_ daughter the Evil One, the Daughter of Darkness, the Witch of the Western World…"

"Enough. She's your sister. She has issues. With men. Large issues. You could show a little more empathy towards her, you know? It's hard for her to follow in Big Sis's footsteps and then have to listen to your mother go on and on about Jude this and Jude that. Going home was the hardest thing she's ever done, Saraboo. Your stepmother is not an easy person to get along with. Ask your future husband about his future mother-in-law and watch how his lips thin and his eyes seem to narrow and his nostrils flare and his blood pressure skyrockets."

"You know, I think I like this one better than Larkin although you did stay engaged a year, why I don't know."

"Fine, I'll cut her some slack. But please have Jude call me. Don't mention him and my fiancé in the same breath. He's a pale shadow of a man compared to my Chuck. Good bye, Roane."

* * *

"Roane? You call your father 'Roane'? But you call the General 'Mom', why the distinction, Sarah? I remember he seemed quite taken with you in Palm Springs when I was being umm, er, you remember. And I don't think I could have stood there while we did what we did if I'd been him and known you were my daughter. I mean I loved the kisses but if I were your father, I'd have kicked my ass."

"That's because you're a decent, kind, loving, honorable man, my darling. He is a scumbag who thinks with his little head and whose goal in life is to plant the Roane Montgomery seed into every available garden on the planet. I mean, sleeping his way through the entire secretarial pool on the 2nd floor at Langley was bad enough but when he started working his way through the NSA and my Mom found out, that was the end. I took her side and never spoke to him again, except in Palm Springs and that was strictly business, until just now. I disowned his ass."

"So maybe we should not invite your father to his daughter's wedding? How's that going to work out? Here's a chance to reconcile things. I mean, you love your Dad, you just don't like him. See what I mean?"

"I need to talk to Jude. I really want him there, and I think so does my Mom, the General."

"So, Chuck, any second thoughts on marrying the General's daughter?" Her father's comments were fresh on her mind. She really wanted to be sure Chuck understood the ramifications of marrying into the Montgomery/Beckman coalition.

"None. Why?"

"Chuck. Look me in the eye and I want you to think hard about the General, not my Mom. Do it, please, Chuck, it's important to me."

Chuck knew that whatever he did was going to be wrong. This was a lose-lose situation. He just let his emotions flow and thought about General Beckman, future step-mother-in-law.

If he had been looking in a mirror instead of the ice blue eyes of his girlfriend he might have noticed a dilating of the pupils, and narrowing of the eyes, how his lips pressed together, and lastly, the slightest flaring of his nostrils.

"Oh, God!" whispered Sarah as she dropped all pretense of agent control and threw herself into the arms of her fiancé. "I had no idea how you felt about her. We can't do this. I won't put you in such a position. I'm sorry, honey, I love you more than life itself but I – I – can't marry you, Chuck. I'm sorry. I didn't think it through. I'm sorry."

She went into the bedroom and closed her bag, grabbed her car keys and left him standing there, still warm from her embrace.

Chuck wasn't sure what just happened except that his engagement of less than 24 hours was now broken by the woman who asked him to marry her. And over her mother. Well, he damned sure wasn't marrying her mother.

He knew where the source of the problem lay. Roane Montgomery. Everything was just peachy until Sarah spoke with her father, the philandering scumbag according to the two daughters that Chuck knew about. He had yet to meet or learn about Alison's mother.

He opened his iPhone and called Judith's phone, just as Sarah did. And Roane Montgomery answered, totally suave and sophisticated and unnervingly telepathic.

"Well, hello, Charles, I mean Chuck. How's the used-to-be-future-son-in-law? I take it you're calling Judith's phone hoping I'd answer so you could ask me the question. Go ahead, ask it."

"What the fuck did you say to Sarah? Do you delight in fucking with your daughter? Is this some perverse punishment because she took sides in a divorce? And what right do you have fucking up my life? Oh, silly question. You're Roane Montgomery. I forgot."

"That's four questions, Charles. But considering the situation, I'll let it pass. I simply asked her to look at you when she asked you what you thought about General Beckman, future mother-in-law, and watch for the signs. I suppose she did. That's why she broke off the engagement after what, a record for her, less than 24 hours. The last guy, well, Bryce had bigger balls I guess, he lasted nearly a year. I always liked him. Reminded me of, well, me!"

Now Chuck was pissed at Sarah, at Beckman and at Montgomery. Engaged to Bryce? And she never told him. That meant, that meant she loved him enough to get engaged. Would they have married? It didn't make any difference, really. Another betrayal, courtesy of Bryce Larkin, although indirectly and not really.

"Thank you, Mr. Montgomery, for taking my call. Your daughter is safe from the likes of one so pitiful as me. Your mission has been accomplished. Bravo! and goodbye."

The monotone delivery rattled the normally unflappable Roane Montgomery. He hadn't intended that she break the engagement just that she should be aware of how her intended actually felt about her mother - frightened. Chuck had hung up before he could respond or even acknowledge his comment.

* * *

"Hey, Sarah, what's up?" Ellie was so thrilled that she was going to have a sister-in-law she actually liked.

Forty-five seconds later she revised her opinion.

"Leave, Agent Walker. Don't come back. My God but you're a piece of work." Ellie slammed the door and went in to find her cell and call her brother.

* * *

"Sarah, I don't care whether he likes me or not. I'm not marrying him, you are. Now get back to that apartment and make this situation right. I can't believe you listened to your father, for God's sake. Charles Bartowski is the best man you could ask for, Sarah. He has all the decent qualities Bryce Larkin lacked. He's a man, Larkin was a tool. You fell for Larkin because like it or not, you saw your father in him and that was enough. Ask yourself what you saw in Chuck. My God, you girls would screw up a wet dream."

* * *

"Chuck, where are you? I'm so sorry. I'm so stupid. I let my father… I came back here but you've gone somewhere. Please call me. I-I-I let someone else do my thinking for me and … please come back. I need to make this right."

* * *

"Jude, let me speak to that son of a bitch of a father of mine. No, don't even try to defend him. I did something stupid – I listened to my father - and now my engagement is off and the man I love is gone from my life because I listened to that vindictive, stupid son of a bitch. Yes, I know I should have told him about Bryce but Bryce is a lightning rod for trouble with Chuck. They have history and it's one of deceit, betrayal and envy. Sounds like Dad. Tell him to call me and tell him the wedding's off and I said he can eat shit and die."

* * *

"Chuck, Chuck, please call me back. I really need to talk with you. I'm sorry, I overreacted to something my father said and you got it with both barrels. Please call me back, baby. I'm so sorry and please marry me. Please? "

* * *

"Chuck, it's Ellie. Please call me back. Walker told me about the engagement. I'm so sorry, Chuck. I'm here if you need to talk. Listen, when things calm down maybe you should reconsider that intern I introduced you to. I guarantee you there's none of this baggage and drama where Joy is concerned. She thinks you're cute, too. So call me back if you need to talk."

* * *

"Chuck, it's Sarah. Please, baby, please. I know I screwed up but I'm scared. I'm not like you. I don't see the shades of gray, Chuck. I wouldn't have stormed the plane to save you; I'd have done the spy thing and been so wrong. Please, call me Chuck.

* * *

"Mr. Bartowski, Diane Beckman. Please return my call. This is my private number. You and I have something personal to discuss and I promise it's just between a mother and a man she thinks would make a fine son-in-law. You might think, considering the assassination attempt and all that this is an alternative but I'm not so sure I can agree. Call me, please, Chuck?"

* * *

"Charles, Roane Montgomery. I need to speak with you. I've done you a great wrong and yes, I was being petty towards Sarah. Please return my call. [_Damn it Judith, it's his __**voicemail**__._]"

* * *

"Please call me back. Please. I'm begging you. Casey won't take my calls and I can't use his GPS or I'd track you down. Please? Chuck, I love you, you know that. I was just so afraid of telling you about Bryce and then you finding out the General is my mother, that it would just be too much for you to handle. Please, don't throw us away because of my stupid reaction to my Dad."

* * *

"Chuck, it's Judith Lodge. I'm probably the last person you want to talk to but I think you need to hear what I have to tell you. Chuck, I love my father but he's an ass most of the time and this time was no exception. You didn't know about Bryce, did you? [_sigh_] Call me back, partner, I'll fill you in and maybe you'll reconsider."

* * *

"Chuck, John Casey. Man, I'm sorry. The women in that family are whack jobs. Chuck, I know where you're headed and running is not the answer. Call me back, Chuck. It's not worth being sanctioned and the pain will still be there no matter where you are. I'm not answering their calls but I've gotten two from the General and more than I can count from Walker so either drive faster and get over the border or call me back. If she calls again, Chuck, I'll have to answer. Good luck and watch your ass."

* * *

"Chuck, this is Carina Hansen. Stop being an idiot and stop running away from people who love you and care for you. She made a mistake, Chuck, a big one and she hurt you but that wasn't her intention. But you're doing the same thing, Chuck, you're running and you're making a mistake that will hurt a lot of others. Casey can't duck the General forever. Sarah loves you and I don't think she's strong enough to survive your death if you're sanctioned, Chuck. Please call her."

* * *

"Chuck… it's Sarah. I should have told you about Bryce Larkin. I was afraid you'd never consider even being my friend let alone my lover or husband. It was a cowardly thing to have done and I'll regret until the last second of my life. I'm at the apartment and I'm waiting for your call."

* * *

"Chuck, it's Carina. I can't believe I missed your return phone call. I was busy with something I couldn't avoid and I had my hands full. Please call back, please. Yes, I've got the hots for John Casey, Chuck, so what? He thinks I'm some kind of slut and there's no future there. He's too closed off and [_Ali, just a minute, the bottle's heating, Arli, please…_] sorry about that, and he's never given me the slightest indication of wanting more than a roll in the hay and he's the only guy I've been with in forever. On second thought, call Sarah back, butthead, not me."

* * *

"Chuck, what do you mean I'm a father? Of who? And why the hell did you have to call when I was on the horn with Beckman. I got you some time, son, but not enough to get you off the grid. Call me back. I can't believe you drop a bomb like that and then hang up. 'Casey, you got twin daughters.' And who's the lucky woman? You WILL call me, Chuck or I'll give that Predator crew your exact coordinates. Chuck, watch your rear view mirror. I already gave them to Sarah."

* * *

"God damn you, Bartowski, if I have to issue a sanction on your ass I will. And I'll lose and asset, a son-in-law, and a daughter I've loved as if she were my own. Turn around or I'll give 'weapons free' to that Predator operator. You're 108 miles from the border. You're 107 minutes from dying. Turn that vehicle around and marry my daughter. She doesn't understand what you're doing and she's not taking my calls. We can figure out another way…it's too soon and all the pieces are not in place yet. I know you think this is a solution but I don't agree."

* * *

"Chuck, Carina. Thank you. I don't know how you figured it out but thank you. John called and he's flying up here to meet his daughters and I would consider it a great honor if you'd be their Godfather. Please don't do anything stupid, Chuck. I did once and being a Hansen for four months was enough to drive me straight. So many people care about you. Including, believe it or not, my Mom. So, thanks again and please call my sister!"

* * *

"Chuck, I'm flying up to Maryland to meet my daughters. By the way, if she'll have me, I'm going to marry into that crazy family. Carina is Jude's sister and Sarah's half-sister or something. Hell, I'm a father. Imagine that. Call Sarah, asshole. Don't end up like I was. Thanks for…helping me. There, I said it. Now let me help you and give you the same advice you gave me: 'quit being a stuffed shirt and look at what's right in front of you'. Asshole, call the girl. She loves you."

* * *

"It's me. I'm about 20 miles behind you, honey, and I'll run you off the road if necessary to stop you from breaching the border perimeter and being Predator food. That was nice what you did for Carina and John. She wouldn't tell anyone who the father was and Mom was having a fit. More dot connecting? Anyhow, I'm going to be a Godmother. How about being the Godfather? I know she's asked so don't be difficult. Just tell her yes. Chuck, about me and Bryce. He's like my Dad and I love my Dad so I guess I loved him. I'm sorry I never told you. It was a mistake and I compounded it with ignoring it until it rose up and bit us in the ass. Chuck, I want babies, too. I'm so jealous of Carina. And Jude's going to be popping puppies as soon as her Marine gets home."

* * *

"Chuck, Diane. Thank you for making Carina so happy. She wouldn't tell us who the father was. Looking at them I can see Casey's features. Poor girls. Will they have an Uncle Chuck to teach them to smile? Her father sure won't. Stop the damned car before it's too late. You are not to leave the US. At least not alive. Chuck, I have to order weapons-free on the drones. It's not my decision any longer."

* * *

18 Miles North of US/Mexico Border

He was out of gas. Casey's pigmobile gulped gas at a prodigious rate and he'd filled up midway between LA and San Diego and he hadn't looked at the gauge since then. He was used to the 36mpg Herders. He was driving a 20mpg land yacht. Sighing, he let the big pig drift over to the side of the road and let it come to rest as far from the road as possible. Maybe he'd get a break and the blonde in the 135mph Porsche would miss him as she flashed by.

He was only 18 miles from the border and he had planned to cross it before midnight. If he could get into the crowds on either side, he would be protected from the Predator's Hellfire missile by being surrounded by innocents.

He walked down the interstate towards Mexico and freedom. A tractor trailer hauling a flatbed of grass sod slowed and stopped. The driver got out to check his rig and Chuck took the opportunity to dump his GPS-laden watch up onto the very back of the load. He figured that the sod would offer minimum shrapnel and maximum opportunity for him to get further away. He grinned as he saw Sarah's Porsche shriek by going well into the triple digits.

He didn't make it to the border before midnight. Apparently there had been an explosion on a truck headed towards Mexico and traffic was backed up for miles in both directions.

He hitched a ride and rode south in the back of a pickup truck.

* * *

**US/Mexico Border**

**9:30am**

He was only yards from the border, being herded into a queue by US Border Patrol and US Customs Agents to pass through the screening area when he saw her, his beautiful blonde, holding a cup of coffee and watching a monitor with two NSA agents in full gear.

Well, it had been a good effort. He reached under his jacket and touched his shoulder rig and then looked around and saw at least 3 more NSA look-alikes scanning the crowd. Both sides of the sidewalk were walled with chain-link fencing leaving the pedestrian traveler no choice but to go forward.

His iPod vibrated and he looked at the ID display: Sarah Walker.

"What?"

"It doesn't have to be this way. There is still time to make this turn out right. Just put your hands in the air and walk towards the screening kiosk." He heard the ragged sigh and knew what it meant.

"Why? Why should I make it easier for you to take me out and drop me in that damned hole of your precious General's? Oh, wait, it's too late for that, isn't it." She heard a repeat of his sigh she'd heard over the same phones in a similar situation in an airport mere days ago. Only there was no Jude to stop him, no Jude to stand down the agents, there was no misunderstanding now.

He fumbled in his pocket and pulled out a spare magazine for his 9mm. Using his thumb, hit pushed the cartridges off the mouth of the magazine and onto the ground. He did the same with the 2nd magazine and it's contents.

Turning slightly he ejected the magazine from the Beretta and thumbed clear it's contents and cleared his weapon and reinserted the empty magazine, pulled back the slide and cleared the chamber. It was an empty weapon, harmless but only if one knew it now was simply a collection of highly machined parts. To the casual observer, he'd just loaded a round from a full magazine.

"Please, don't do this. Don't do this to me, to us. Don't…"

"Seems to me, Agent, that it's you and your friends who are the doers, not me. I'm just an American citizen about to be murdered by his government because he knows something he never wanted to know and because an embittered woman wants revenge on a adulterous husband for something that occurred 15 years ago."

"That's not what this is at all. There are rules and you've broken them. Surrender now and you won't die, I promise. Surrender now and there won't be a hole in the ground, I promise. Surrender now and we can go back to being Chuck and Sarah and forget last night ever happened, I promise."

She pushed her finger into her ear and then touched her throat mike and uttered something unheard. A follow-on agent reported a pile of cartridges at the feet of the target. Their target had unloaded the spare magazines and put them back in his jacket pocket. He'd done the same thing to his weapon. He'd disarmed himself and he was counting on procedures to ensure a clean, quick kill.

"You're good at making promises, Agent Walker. It's the keeping of them that seems to be your problem. Shoot straight, you NSA pukes." He terminated the call and walked toward the border. He never took his eyes off her, not even when his phone vibrated in his pocket.

"Good morning, this is Chuck."

"General Beckman. I've been monitoring the situation. I know what you've done. She doesn't by I do. You're unarmed and she doesn't know that. She'll do her job, Mr. Bartowski, and then she'll find out what you did and it will kill her just as effectively as if you'd shot her yourself. So many good things have happened since yesterday, don't spoil the good you've done with this – this – this evil act."

"Evil act? Oh, please. What do you call that hellfire explosion last night?"

"That was…unfortunate but required by circumstances. The situation is much clearer now and this doesn't have to end badly for anyone, Mr. Bartowski."

Chuck hung up the phone and shook his head. The spy world bred some interesting interpretations of 'ending badly' depending on your point of view. Last night 'ended badly' because she missed. This morning might 'end badly' if he didn't die and would 'end badly' if he did.

Sarah touched her throat mike and whispered 'Take the shot'. She turned away and slowly drank her coffee.

To the casual observer he seemed to stumble then slowly collapse on to the sidewalk like a marionette with its strings suddenly cut.

No one said anything to the blonde agent in charge. Words were unnecessary. The medical team walked with stretcher and body bag carefully through the panicked crowd to the body and quickly put it in the body bag and onto the stretcher. The ambulance left without the necessity of emergency lights or siren.

* * *

**Cancun, Mexico**

"Walker, secure."

"Beckman, secure. Sarah, I can only give you five days. Your new job starts then. I'm sorry but life has to go on. You did what had to be done. It was the only way it could have ended."

"You didn't see the look on his face, the surprise and betrayal. You don't have to live with it. I do. Jude was right, I am my mother's daughter."

"Can you, I mean, would you please explain this to Casey? I don't think he'll, I mean, oh, Mom, you don't know how I felt to have to stand there and be all 'professional' while they put Chuck's body into the bag. And you can't imagine how hard it was to order the shot."

"I'll speak to Casey. I'm sure he'll understand. If he doesn't I'm sure Carina can make him see how this was the way it had to play out. He's a professional. He's had to make hard calls in the past. He'll get over it. Make sure you're free for the wedding."

"Jerry will be home just in time for it and Judith's happier than I've heard her in ages. Your father…he won't be at the wedding, Sarah, so feel free to bring a date if you… I'm sorry, that was incredibly thoughtless and insensitive of me. I have a meeting. Good bye, Sarah."

"Five days? Only five days?"

"Yeah. I start my new assignment in five days. It's going to be quite an adjustment after Europe. And long term, too. I've never done protective services before. I'll probably need to spend a lot of time with this Montgomery mark."

"All sacrifices for the greater good. Was she, did she, um, the way it went down at the border. I was totally surprised. Is she pissed?"

"Yeah, but she's over it, mostly. I think she's mostly about missing the opportunity to see Roane at my 'wedding'. We don't talk about that. By the way, John Casey's getting married. Want to crash the wedding?"

"Any regrets? Second thoughts, Sarah?"

"No, you?"

"Just that we only have five days. Five days isn't long for a honeymoon, Sarah."

"Well, if you hadn't pushed the issue with Mom we'd have had a lot longer in Fiji, but Cancun works for me." She admired the wide platinum wedding band on her finger.

"Sarah, Fulcrum had me dead to rights. The last upgrade was a killer program. I had to die in order to live. Besides, getting paid to have sex and make babies while guarding the nation's prime intelligence asset, that's a big plus."

"Shut up, Chuck. I'm still pissed because I wasn't in the loop. I was terrified you were really leaving me over that Bryce engagement. And you wouldn't answer any of my calls or my sisters'. Well, OK, you did respond to Carina's and worm that info out of her. That was smooth, by the way."

"Hey, the plan was for the guys on the perimeter to fire blanks and the electronic blood bags would have provided a good graphic for the news. You, my loving wife, almost screwed the pooch when you had the sniper hit me with the tranquilizer dart. Good thing it didn't hit a blood bag. That would have been… freaky for all concerned."

"And I am sorry about the abruptness of it all. I was pissed about the engagement. I figured it was another thing you figured you'd leave out of your bio. It wasn't in the intersect data. So, yeah, I let my imagination go wild for a bit but I still felt it was the perfect time to modify and advance the plan."

"Well, Mr. Montgomery, we have the rest of our lives to work on our communications skills. It's going to feel weird being Sarah Montgomery again. My Mom's got a perverse sense of humor sometimes."

"Yeah, well, her daughter's pretty perverted, too."

"You weren't complaining last night, Chuck. If I remember correctly, you weren't saying much at all, just moans, groans and sighs. And baby, I knew exactly what you were trying to tell me."

"Sarah?"

"Yes, Chuck?"

"Do you ever wonder what would have happened if Carina and I had…"

"Do not finish that thought if you want to keep these attached."

"I do. I do. But seriously, that would have made me a …"

She kissed him just to shut him up and to wind him up and then to have her way with him. Being married was infinitely better than engaged.

* * *

**23 Months Later**

"Beckman, secure."

"Montgomery, secure. Um, General, uh, Diane, jeeeeez, would you please talk some sense into your daughter before she rips off necessary portions of my anatomy? [_I'm going to tear that thing right off you, you son of a … oh, how long was that one, an hour?_] 30 seconds, honey, just 30 seconds… This was her idea. You know how competitive she is. [_You're sleeping in the garage, you're getting snipped, I'll use a hatchet… oh, how long was that one, had to be 20 minutes at least_] still only 30 seconds, sorry, here's your Mom…"

"Chuck, it takes two to Tango. And I don't think she planned on twins, Chuck, especially not so soon after Ben was born. By the way, are you the one who taught him the one-fingered salute whenever he sees me in uniform?" She loved her grandson but he was too much like his father for his own good.

"Nope, that would be his Uncle John. You still scare the shit out of me, Diane. I haven't forgotten our last 'disagreement' that resulted in my enrollment in the SERE school. Escape and Evasion, my ass, General. I have Sarah to keep me safe. Didn't need to learn to resist torture, eat bugs or spend days hanging by my thumbs. No, ma'am. My Sarah keeps me safe. Now Casey, yeah, John could benefit from SERE. Now _**please**_ talk to your daughter. I think she needs her Mom more than me right now."

* * *

EpilogueEnd


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